I was a very religious person from birth ,till I lost my parents in quick succession ,by the age of 25. I had just started my career and life was shattered, with the loss of my mother at 23 and father at 25.

I used to visit a temple every week and followed all rituals zealously ,till that tragedy engulfed me. I stopped going to a temple and all rituals I was following in the past.

I asked God – “Why me and what wrong did I do ?” I always had dreamt of taking care of my parents ,in their old age. I have achieved whatever little in my life and work ,only because of them. So, I thought the minimum I could do was to take care of them and they live with me for the rest of their lives, post retirement. But, this was never to be!

This incident broke my belief and I refused to pray. It took me almost two years ,to get back on the rails. I slowly treaded back to normalcy. I realised ,that there are some things in life in your control and many things , beyond your control. Birth and death, are two things determined by God. When and where we are born and when and where we will die, is pre-destined by God. We need to accept this ,as an unavoidable reality of life.

I did and then moved on ,in my life. I realised ,that I had done what I could ,as a dutiful son ,to take care of my parents. What happened to them ,was beyond my control and I could not prevent ,their premature death. But life goes on. I have a family to take care and I also had the opportunity ,to be be grateful to the people, who supported me in this difficult phase of my life, for the rest of my life.

I started focusing on my family and my career. My children did well in their education and my spouse supported me, unconditionally. My career took a positive trajectory and I could achieve, whatever little I had dreamt of ,in my career.

I moved from one city to another and everywhere ,my family supported me. My kids underwent the hardship of shifting schools and cities and never complained. My wife was always around ,to support me in all my decisions ,of life and career.

Today, if I look back, I started believing in my self. This belief made me realise that the super power beyond us ,decides for us ,on certain matters and we cannot control it. I believed ,before I started praying again.

Now, I define my religion as service to humanity. I did my job with utmost integrity, took care of my family to the best of my ability. I supported my friends, who enabled me during my crisis in life and even today am grateful to them for what they did for me. I can never repay their debt in monetary or non monetary ways. I can only pray that God give them good health and happiness always.

It is important first to believe and then to pray. If you do not believe, it is better not to pray. It is like a player believing in oneself ,before putting her best foot forward. If she does not believe in herself, she can never give her best.

So, let us believe, before we pray from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

20th Jan 2025