A friend send me the following quote today :

“Life is ironic. It takes sadness to know what happiness is, noise to appreciate silence, and absence to value presence.”

I found it very insightful and recollected many life instances, which I could recall. Let me share three incidents of my own life, which made me realise the value of this quote in real life.

The first incident was when I started my career in 1981. I joined a leading public sector for my first job. Within a year of my starting my career, I lost my mother to a heart disease called tachycardia. I was 23 and she was just 54. Within two years, I lost my father at the age of 25 due to a kidney failure. This shattered my life and I was drowned in grief.

After a year, I recovered from the shock and my career took off. I was blessed with a daughter and a son within 5 years of my marriage and was happy both at career and in life. The sadness of losing both my parents at a young age made me realise the value of family – spouse, children and siblings and I am ever grateful for that.

I understood that God makes you realise the value of happiness through your ability to deal with grief in life and bounce back. Sometimes we are told ,that we cannot value joy unless you have experienced sorrow.

All through my career I lived in metros or towns ,around the country. I got used to the noise all around me. Whether it was the traffic around us or the chit chat of people living or working around. One day I visited a hill resort and lived in a room facing the forest. The only sound I could hear was that of the birds chirping or the leaves of the trees, fluttering in the wind. Similarly on another occasion, I lived on a river bank for a few days. I could hear the sound of the river and the aquatic animals.

We get so used to the noise around us, in the cities ,that we are not privileged to hear ,the sounds of nature. Thus our mind and heart is polluted with the noise around us ,rather than listening to the inner voice within us. We need to experience noise ,to understand the true value of silence.

Another realisation through my life experiences is that ,we do not value people who are around us, all the time. When we lose some people, we realise their value and start missing them ,in our lives. In my case, it could be my parents, whom I lost at an early age and I miss them all the time ,since I lost them early. However, there could be many ,who do not value the presence of parents or siblings, because they are around. The day they leave this world ,they may possibly value them more.

The question to ask ourselves is ,why do we not value people, when they are around. What makes us miss people, when they are no more with us.

Every incident in our life is a great learning. If we are willing to learn from our mistakes, life could be more valuable and insightful to us.

Let the journey of self discovery begin today.

S Ramesh Shankar

6th March 2024.