I have been married for almost four decades now. I married a college mate of mine, who was one year junior to me. She was a gold medalist in the university and had joined a leading de-addiction centre in Chennai as a counsellor, after passing out from college.

She quit her job after we got married as she had to move from Chennai to Bhilai, where I was working. This was her first sacrifice. A person who was academically brilliant but could not pursue her career of choice since she got married to a person, who was working in another city and put her spouse’s career ahead of her own self.

This choice was by mutual consent and we did not feel bad about it. We then had children and she qualified the Natioinal Eligibility Test (NET) in the first attempt and joined as an assistant professor in college. She continued for some time and then again quit her career, to take care of our two growing up kids.

We moved across cities, as I lived and worked across the country, in pursuit of my career. After supporting me and my family for almost four decades, we decided to settle down in Bangalore.

All through my career, my spouse supported me and my family to live a cosy life and also reared our children to be self dependant adults whilst I was busy pursuing my career goals.

She did continue to write, read and travel, which are her passions in life. She also learnt languages and some art and crafts apart from participating in music and dance, which she could pursue ,some times.

She selflessly sacrificed her career and passions to support me in my career and also support my kids to grow up as good human beings. While we have supported each other in all our pursuits, I realise that post retirement from my active career, it is payback time for me.

We returned to Bangalore and settled down. She pursues her hobbies including gardening. She also continues to write and travel along with me to places around the country and the world.

We walk together every day for more than three decades and do yoga for more than a decade. However, now her health is fragile with her knees becoming weak perhaps because of all the burden she bore for all of us over the last four decades.

Now, it is my time to pay back. I need to manage the family and take care of day to day chores, to the best of my ability. Although, she continues to manage most of the home affairs, I realise that I have a bigger role to play today.

My children have got married and have flown away from the nest to pursue their own careers. They have responsibilities to take care of their own families. Today, I pursue my hobbies of reading, writing, travelling, coaching, driving and consulting and hence I can manage my own time ,as per my plans.

My goal in life is to give to back to society, in the best ways I can. Apart from that, I have take to care of my spouse and her health and payback for all that she sacrificed for us right through our life.

I realise today ,that it is never too late to give back in life to all the people who have made you successful and happy in life. Of all the people who have supported me in my life, my spouse has been the biggest contributor . so its time for me to payback to her.

It is never too late to payback in life.

S Ramesh Shankar

3rd May 2023