We tend to to accumulate a lot material and non material things all through our lives. Some we may use and some we may never. However, our possessiveness is addictive and remains a part of us right through our lives. If we learn to let go, we may be better off.

Life is no different. We tend to assimilate a lot of emotions and baggage right through our lives. Some may be good to retain and others may not. Life is all about balancing between what we need to hold on and what need to let go.

We have a tendency to hold on to all things which we don’t need and tend to let go of things we need. We remember and retain in our heads all the hurt inflicted on us right from our childhood. We dont forget the first thrashing we got from our parents or teachers. We vividly remember the fight at the playground with our friends

On the other hand, we forget the first gift we got from our parents. The appreciation we got from our teachers and the support we got from our friends. This way our emotional bank is full of debits rather than some credits.

We need to learn the art of balancing in life. If our credits equates our debits, life will be evenly paced. However, when our debits outnumber our credits, life becomes treacherous. We tend to fall prey to a cycle of misery and start believing that God is unfair to us.

Let us look at how to balance between holding on and letting go from some real life incidents from our own lives. I am sharing from some of my life experiences. You may have had some similar experiences or seen some incidents around you.

The first experience was when I was deeply hurt by a relative of mine. My father was in the ICU and the doctors told me that he may not survive if we don’t do dialysis twice a week. The cost of dialysis twice a week was almost double of my monthly salary. I requested this relative of mine for some loan to get over this crisis. Instead of helping me in crisis, he asked if it was necessary to do the dialysis at all. This relative was brought up like a child by my father during his childhood.

I carried this hurt in my heart for more than three decades till I attended a workshop where I learnt the joy of forgiveness. I did forgive him on that day and then this hurt changed into kindness in my heart. We may learn through life experiences what to hold on and when to let go.

Another incident was about my missing a school parade as a prefect. I was at school to lead the march past. We had a white uniform and was playing in the grounds before the march past. I slipped and soiled my white uniform. My friends advised me to go home and change and return for the march past. I did and since I cycled home and back, I was late and the deputy prefect was advised to lead in my absence. I missed an opportunity of a life time.

This incident haunted in my mind for years. One day I realised that I need to learn a lesson from this incident and move on in my life. So, I decided that I will never ever be late for any event in my life. I need to plan in such a way that such incidents do not recur in my life. I converted this guilt into a positive attribute in my life.

Life gives us multiple opportunities to hold on or let go. We tend to do the reverse of what is good for us. We let go of things which we need to hold on and also the other way around. If we learn to strike the right balance between the two, life would be more fulfilling.

Life is the fine art of balancing what to let go and what to hold on.

S Ramesh Shankar

28th January 2023