Every day we tend to judge people around us in every possible way. It may be positive or negative based on our own perceptions or hearsay. We rarely judge people based on facts. This is the reality of life.

An incident in my life today triggered this thought in me and hence this blog. I had given some clothes to stich to a nearby tailor. As usual, this tailor kept giving me new dates every time I called her. I was fed up and hence decided to reach the tailor’s shop one day, unannounced.

I sat down in front of her and got a few things stitched. As they were curtains, she readily did it and told me that the rest will take some more time. I was curious to know why this inordinate delay. She then narrated to me her story. She lives with her hubby and two college going kids.

Her husband who was working in a factory nearby got a paralytic stroke and she went literally from pillar to post for his treatment. Many hospitals near her home including a national centre of excellence refused to treat her husband and she had to drive him all the way to Mysore from Bangalore ( which is 120 kms away from her home) where some hospital agreed to treat him.

This illness made her hubby jobless and she was the only earning member in the family with a shop, which had to be closed ,as she had to take care of her husband and her kids. Luckily her husband is recovering now and her college going kids are supportive .so, she is limping back to normalcy in a slow and steady way.

I had almost decided that I will never give any clothes to her for stiching, based on my perception of her, before knowing the facts. After listening to her story, I decided that she will be my first choice of a tailor for all my future needs.

In life, we tend to judge people based on perceptions or hearsay. We listen to some stories or have some bad experiences and we decide this should be right or wrong. It may be worthwhile to dig deep into the facts of every experience ,before we make any judgement on people.

This happens in family, society and even in organisations. In the family, parents judge children and vice versa. Similarly in organisations, managers judge employees and vice versa based on perceptions and hearsay rather than facts. While it may be the reality to judge people on perceptions, it may be worthwhile to check back and ask for real life instances to substantiate a perception before we make a judgement.

I remember some manager stating that his employee is argumentative just because he is not able to manage him. When I used to ask for real life examples, the manger did not have many to share. When I checked with his peers ,I found that that the employee was smart and the manger found it difficult to bull doze him to do things which the employee felt was not in the best interest of the organisation.

Life is no different. We tend to judge people on the go. It is time to reflect, sit back and gather facts before we judge. If we are able to put ourselves in the situation of the person whom we are about to judge ,we may be more objective in our judgement.

May be time to look at the mirror before we make the next judgement about others.

S Ramesh Shankar

20th April’s 2022