I find it amusing when people have different yardsticks for themselves vis a vis others. This phenomenon is seen in families, organisations and society at large. As a parent, I can go anywhere without informing my spouse or other family members but nobody in the family dare do it.

In organisations, we commonly see bosses demanding punctuality, timely submission of reports and so on but feel offended if reminded of not doing the appraisals of their team members on time.

Life appears to be of double standards most of the time. One standard for me and one for others. I may get away with double standards at home as long as I am the oldest and respected but the day my kids turn adolescent they will see through me and I will lose all respect.

Even in the organisation, I may survive till I am able to wield power and authority. The day I get a boss who leads by example and demands the same from others, I am doomed. I wonder how managers and leaders imagine that they can live with double standards for long.

In my book on leadership, we can never have double standards and be inspirational. Whether it is family, organisation or society at large, the concept of double standards is never sustainable. One can fool oneself for sometime and think we can be that way but time will catch up and we will be caught unawares on this front.

Lets examine it in the family space. As a father and being the oldest in the family, I may escape till my spouse rebels some day or my children do. It could also be that my siblings or neighbours, who teach me a lesson and then I change.

In the organisation, people think they can slip through if they hold senior leadership roles. Yes, they survive till the day they get dis-respected or hurt by a feedback from a colleague, customer or supplier. That day will make them change and change for the better. If they dont change, they may lose their leadership position sooner than later.

It is important to realise that leaders are respected not only for results but their behaviour as well. In my book, behaviour is as important as results, if not more. Both in life and career, behaviour will be the ultimate differentiator between good and great people.

Many people go scot free in the short term with double standards. This makes others believe that it is ok to have them. However, it is important to realise that it will never work in the long term. The sooner we realise it, the better it is for us and others around us.

We can never have two standards for anything. All standards for life are absolute and it is the same for everyone irrespective of social level, position, race, colour or nationality. The day we realise this basic tenet of life, we may realise our full potential.

As in the photo above, it is like my advising others to take a metro to reduce carbon footprint but I drive my own car every day of my life.

We need to remember there can never be double standards for anything in life.

S Ramesh Shankar

22nd February 2021