You realise it only when you experience it. How many times do we dread advice when we find it impractical in life. Almost every time someone gives you some advice, which you think is not realistic and have not experienced it.

I can recall this experience again and again since my childhood. I remember as a child many times my parents and other elders have given me advice which was unpalatable to me. It could be as simple as not to climb a tree as I could break my bones or as serious as not studying well will land me on the streets with no gainful employment.

Every time I felt their advise was either unsolicited or not empathetic. I felt they could not understand the joys of a kid. However, as you grow up you realise that much of their advise was valuable as you experience the effects of not following many of them in your life in real.

This trend was experienced in school and college as a student too. When a teacher advised you to do something or not do something, you desisted it. You felt they unnecessarily interfered in your personal life without really understanding you. But later in life you feel that you wish you had listened to them as you see the pitfalls of non-adherence.

Then you move to the work place and the scene is not very different. Your manager tends to impose his views on you and you feel as if he is breathing down your neck. He seems to be always telling you what to do in every step of your work life. You feel as if you are missing the freedom at work. Then as you grow and become a manager yourself you realise that you need to guide your juniors. When your juniors resist your close supervision you realise you have gone through the same.

Even in the family space we experience this phenomenon. As an adult we do not like advice from our parents. Then as a spouse we feel our partner interferes in our life and many a time tests our patience. We realise this only when we grow into a parent and our child feels the same way. Similarly, when our spouse behaves the same way we do and we do not like it we realise the fallacies of our ill behaviour.

In life, we realise that experience is the best teacher. We also realise it only when we ourselves experience it. It is easy to give advise to others but difficult to accept the same from others. We learn the difference between good and bad advise only when we go through it ourselves.

As in the photo above, we will listen to the advise of even Bhagwan Mahaveer only when we experience a challenge in life and not otherwise.

Experience is one of the best teachers in life.

S Ramesh Shankar

10th June 2020