All of us would have faced situations in life where we are drowned in grief and have no tears to cry. It is these situations where you feel lonely but do not want to be disturbed. You want to confront God as to why he has besieged you with such a crisis. You are lonely but prefer solitude to a crowd. You want to be left alone as reflection helps you deal with sadness.
I have myself been through situations like these in my life. The first time after I lost both my parents in my early twenties I lost faith in God. I stopped visiting temples and questioned the very existence of a spiritual power beyond human kind. It has happened to me on a few other occasions later in my life too. Every time, it makes you cry but without tears in your eyes. Every time you look at the world with different eyes and console yourself only by comparing with people who are in more distressed situations than you.
Last week one such incident happened to me. I called on a friend who is as gregarious and vivacious as human beings can be. She is a person whose mere presence can energise you. I have seen her brings smiles to the lives of many around her. I have always seen her finding opportunities to help everyone around her in every possible way. I called her to enquire about her well being since she stays in another city. She did not even pick up her phone. I was worried. I sent her a message and she replied that her mother is seriously unwell and her grand child is also not well.
I reflected on this incident and realised that even a person like her did not have tears in her eyes to cry. When all the good deeds you do to others does not ensure your happiness, you wonder whether it was worthwhile to be good in life. You wonder if helping others is necessary when God does not want to help you in a crisis. This applies even to people like her who are selfless.
I have also seen colleagues and friends confronted with multiple crises at the same time. One sometimes wonders why God is cruel to such people. Even before they barely wriggle out of one crisis God presents them with a bigger challenge and this shatters their confidence in themselves. It is during phases like these, we need to be around to help such people in distress. We may not be able to relieve them of their stress. But, our very presence and being around may instil faith in them that they are not alone to face this emergency in their life.
However, I am a born optimist and I realize that every night is followed by a day. Everyday the sun sets to rise again. Hence while our tears may dry up during a crisis , we need to keep our hopes alive. We need to believe that we are capable of dealing with everything in life. After all there is no dead end in our life. There will always be a turn and we need to have the patience to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Let us pray to God so that he ensures that good people in life do not suffer this way.
It is better to cry with tears than without.
S Ramesh Shankar