Ways of life

I enjoy walking on the sea shore along the sea with my naked feet making impressions on the wet sand. Many a time I prefer to walk with my spouse, friend or relative. Sometimes, all alone too. Today I encountered the sudden death of a close relative and this made me wonder as to what would happen if you were walking with that relative and when you turn around and find that there are only the impressions of your feet and your relative’s disappears in the sand behind you from your trail.

This was the feeling experienced by me today. It is a feeling of emptiness. You feel as if you were going through a storm and suddenly without your knowledge, you enter a state of vacuum. This space makes you feel weird. A state of helplessness. But you can do nothing about it. All of us go through such moments in our life and have to learn to deal with it.

It was a wonderful feeling to feel the imprints on the sand when you are walking with a partner. But, when you realize that your partner has left you suddenly and without notice, you realize you are left alone in this world to fend for yourself. One is born alone into this world and one also realizes that you leave this planet all alone. But the journey in between is life. You need a partner during this period. Your parents partner you till your adolescence, then your friends and finally your life partner. Of course, your parents are with you through out your life but the presence or absence of a life partner makes all the difference.

My mother’s death preceded by father’s. I was just 25, when I lost both my parents. But, I did realize the value of the partner after my mother’s death. My father lived all alone after my mother’s death with my brother. Although he was a man of few words right through his life, my mother’s death made him more lonely then words could express. I could feel the vacuum in his life although he never shared his grief with us.

Within two years’ of my mother’s death, my father passed away. He did suffer from diabetes and hypertension, which made his kidneys fail. Although, this was the primary reason for his death, I also felt that he died due to separation of his partner in life. All of us, who have experienced the warmth of our parents, friend or spouse in life understand the meaning of true partnership. You are energised by the mere presence of your partner without expecting anything from each other. Their mere presence adds value to your life. The physical presence of your partner is enough. Even their silence adds meaning to your life. Their absence kills you.

When you miss your partner in life for a few days, you miss them. Imagine what happens to you when you lose them for eternity. You end up talking to their photo for a few days till you digest the truth that they are no longer with you. You keep asking God as to why was he so cruel on you ? God answers you through his silence and then you realize that this is the new reality of life and you adapt to it.

After spending many years in my life and after losing quite a few relatives and friends, I realised that this is new phase of life God has planned for you. The only way to remember your partner or friend in your future life is to live their values and fulfil their unfulfilled dreams if you can. There is no point brooding what you could have done to increase there longevity in life. It is better to spend one’s energy to live their spirit in your life.

The ways of life are complex and unpredictable as in the design of the photo above.

Life is a journey and there are a few shocks like these, which mould you to be a better human being

Time to wake up is now.

S Ramesh Shankar

24th November 2017

“Who am I and why am I here ?


The simpler the question is the tougher it is to answer.  Honestly, I have never questioned myself on “Who am I ? so far.  But, it may be worth a try to answer. If I can answer “Who am I satisfactorily, it may be easier to answer – “Why am i here ?

Who am I ?

A human being who wants to be a ” A better human being, everyday I live, enjoying myself and making life enjoyable for all the people around me in whatever way I can “.  This journey started about 20 years back when I set this as my mission in life.  I have been exploring, experimenting and learning by mistakes and successes in life so far.  It is a journey and my quest to improve is endless.  I would say while starting this journey, I realised that my basics have been good.  A self made man I have earned my way in life through hard work and commitment and with the encouraging support of family and friends.  I have always strived to enjoy life within my means and share my joy with my dear and near.

I should acknowledge that God has been kind to me.  I have struggled in the early part of my career losing my parents at an early age and still trying to stand independently on my feet.  But then the learning journey has been exciting.  My work life and personal life has been well balanced.  I have an enviable family and my spouse and kids have ably supported me in this journey.  I have moved across India and they have adapted well to all the adventures of these career movements.  They have never complained on the consequences of these movements on their lives in terms of education, friends and comforts.

So, life has been great and God has also given me all the material comforts in life.  I have a green home of my dreams, where I intend to settle down and almost all of my material needs fulfilled.  I could confidently say that my needs are fulfilled and if I aspire for more than it would be greed only and may not be contributing to my joy in life.

Now, if I move to answering “Why am I here ? “.  I would say, it is to share my learnings, my experiences, my failures and successes in life.  It has been a exciting journey and I consider it my duty to share with the next generations.  When you go through a crisis or a challenge, you feel as if nobody else has ever gone through it and God is unkind to you.  It is at these moments when you need someone to remind you that there are millions of others on earth, who may have faced tougher challenges than you.

It is this quest to share as “Why am I here ? ”  .  I may not have succeeded all the time but my failures too are good lessons to learn.  This may also help people not to make the same mistakes I did.  I would also say expressing my journey in words is a passion, which I enjoy and sharing will ignite that passion in me more. Lastly, I am a born optimist and I believe that more excitement is ahead of me and hence to share and learn more will keep me going ahead to accomplish my mission in life.

S Ramesh Shankar