Tag: contentment

Something good in everybody


There is something good in everybody around us.  We spend most of our time finding faults with others.  It is easier to find fault than to find the goodness in others.  Let us try to change the way we look at others.  If we spend a little time everyday to observe and admire one good quality in someone in our life, our life may be different.  We may not only learn that good quality and we can try to imbibe it but also make the other person happier that day.

While many of us are comfortable in sharing what we don’t like in others easily, we find it difficult to praise people in front of them.  Next , we are not very keen to look at the positives of others.  This could be a cultural issue.  But, after all each of us have a responsibility to change the culture of the organisation.  After all, we have known many brilliant individuals, who have changed the way society thinks on a particular subject.  We can become one of them if we start thinking this way.

We could put a black nail on a white wall and ask people around us what do they see on the wall.  Most people will point out the black nail and not see the beautiful white wall all around the nail.  Similarly, in real life, we all see the negatives of others easily and do not notice the positives of the same people.  May be it is time to rewind the clock and see others from a positive prism.

I have tried a small experiment in some of my training programmes.  This is not something I invented but I learnt from late Kathy Dannemiller, one of the inventors of large scale interactive processes way back in 1995. You could end a training programme by asking each participant to observe, note down one positive quality about his/her neighbour in the class during the course of that training .  Then, they could look at the eyes of his/her neighbour and share the positive quality they have observed in them.  You can see the joy in their eyes.

The power of positivity in life is endless.  You have to experience the appreciation to believe this.  If each of us try to recall when was the last time, someone appreciated something positive in us, it may be a long time since it happened.  On the other hand, if you want to recall when someone criticised you, you may recall immediately.  It is in our psyche to look at the gaps and holes in others always.

Let us resolve to ourself that we will meet every family member every day and share one positive quality we like in them that day.  Similarly, we can do with our office colleagues.  I can assure you that life will be very different. It will be full of energy and possibilities.  We will always have options for everything in life and there will be hordes of people around us, who will be keen to contribute to our success.

Like in the photo above, we met the senior union representatives of our global parent in Germany during their recent visit to India and had so much to learn from them within a week’s interaction with them.

Can we promise to admire the positivity in others from today ?  

S Ramesh Shankar

“How much is good enough ?”


If each of us ask ourselves, “how much money is good enough?”to lead a happy life, we may not give the same answer.  Each of us try our best to be successful in life.  Each of us define success in our own way.  There is nothing right or wrong about our own definitions in life.  After all, each of us have a way of defining success and happiness in life and have our own priorities.

As we grow in life and career, we work hard and put our best foot forward.  We assimilate  material wealth one by one as we gradually increase our purchasing power in life.  We buy a two wheeler, a car, a house and so on.  Every time, we think we have arrived in life, we dream for more.  The needs increase and so does the greed.  In my view, there is nothing wrong with this journey.  We all have gone through it and so will the future generations.

However, it may be worthwhile to understand why this happens ?  If you ask a college student, when she would settle and be happy in life, she may say, the day I get a job and settle down.   If you ask a single working professional,when he wants to get married, he might say that the day I am able to stand on my own feet, I will.   If you ask a newly married couple, if they have arrived in life, they would say yes the day they are blessed with a kid.  If you ask a young mother, if she considers all her needs in life fulfilled, she may say yes the day her child finishes her schooling.  Then, you may ask a middle aged parent, if he is happy, he may say the day his child finishes education, gets a job and gets married.  This way the cycle repeats itself.

Does this mean that we are never happy in life ?  Does this mean that nobody feels content with what they have ?  It may or may not be true.  It is human nature to seek more from life all the time.  As I said, all of us go through this cycle of life.  Some of us realize that this is an endless cycle sooner than others.  It is this ability of fulfilling needs and balancing greed, which may help us to the road  of happiness.

I remember I started my career with a meagre salary in 1981.  I have grown in my professional and personal life.  However, I did realize somewhere in my mid career years that happiness and wealth do not necessarily have a direct correlation.  You could be happy in life with whatever you have or be unhappy in life with all that you dream to have and elusive today.  Happiness is a state of mind.  It’s an attitude to life and living.  Happiness is derived from contentment and our ability to balance need and greed.  We need to fulfill our needs and not our greed.  

Hence, if I try to answer the same question today- ” How much in life is good enough ? ” – I would say that much, which fulfills all your needs.  The day we can draw the line between need and greed and also learn to be content in life, we may be happy.   Many a time, we wait for a tomorrow to be happy in life.  That tomorrow may not arrive.  It may be a good idea to enjoy today with whatever we have rather than regret waiting for that elusive tomorrow in life, which never arrives.

Like in the photo above, my wife was filled with joy after buying this attire in a road side shop in Cairo. It is not the brand or the price of the dress but the joy of being colourful and content with what you have.

The choice to be happy or unhappy is always with us. Enjoy today, forget tomorrow.

S Ramesh Shankar