Tag: #bloggingfundamentals

Circle of Life

A circle has no boundaries and all edges are embedded in itself. Our daily life is like a circle. We all have good and bad events embedded seamlessly in a single day. I got up with a great news of a new born child in my family circle. Then this was followed by the information of a terrorist attack in some part of Kashmir, where innocent citizens were killed. Then the news of a colleague winning an award in an international contest was recieved. The day ended with the news of a tragic accident of a professional colleague on the expressway.

Every day is a circle. We get news – good, bad and ugly. Our moods swings from one extreme to the other. While we rejoice on hearing a good news and by the time the joy settles, we are saddened by a sad news. Then we recover with some good news before we are immersed with some tragic news.  

How do we cope with this ? Is life also like a circle ? May be true. If we reflect on life, we realize that it is true. We have moments of joy in life and want those moments to last forever but very soon we are drowned in sorrow. Before we recover, we are again surprised by some joyous events in life. So, it is a cycle and we have to adapt to take the good and bad in our stride.

It may be easy to write about the circle of life rather than experience it. I am not sure if there are many ideas of how to deal with it rather than experience it yourself. One of the ways of dealing with this variance in life is to minimise our expectations from life and living. If we are content with what we have and what we get in life, may be it will help us to deal with what we don’t. It’s a question of managing expectations in life.

The ability to deal with our emotions will determine our success in life. Life is a full circle and we have to learn to celebrate it that way.  Our ability to be equanamous in dealing with all moments of life defines our happiness.

Let us learn to be in the middle of the circle and deal with life with poise all the time.

S Ramesh Shankar

My definition of “Leadership”

My definition of “Leadership”
 Learning leadership is a life long journey. As a child, your parents are your role models. Then your teachers gradually occupy that space and finally it’s your bosses at the workplace, when you start working in an organisation.

I have always wondered as to what are the three attributes of being a great leader. While there are many theories and many thought leaders on this subject, I have tried to distill my own experience and learning in life so far. Based on my observations, experiences and learning, I would say the following competencies are the most critical to be a successful leader in life:

A. Personal Credibility : It is an ability to say what you do and do what you say. Although, it looks quite simple, it is the most difficult thing to do. I believe people follow what you do rather than what you say. A great leader leads by example and not by words. We admire our parents because they say what they do. Our teachers have always been living examples of practising before preaching. If we move to the work place, lets recollect which are the types of leaders whom we admire. I have always admired leaders, who role modelled behaviour.

B. Trust : I would define trust as believing in someone blindly. Why would we believe in someone blindly. Let’s recall our childhood. We trusted our parents as if they could do no wrong. This is because they always kept our welfare ahead of all their needs and comforts. We would blindly follow our parents without asking any questions. Similarly, lets recall a friend or a teacher, whom we went to for any advice in life. We believed them without any basis. Similarly, lets recall a manager, whom we admired. It the manager whom we would follow without asking any questions or clarifications because their intent was always in our best interest. It’s trust, which is the common denominator amongst all of them.  

C. Values : The best of leaders always have a strong foundation of values. They will never compromise on their value system. They may give up on a project or fail in an assignment but they will never give up their values for anything in life. Many times people have asked me as to why it is important to live your values as long as you achieve your goals. Is is possible to win a match without practise ? Values in my view are like the blood in the body. It ensures all organs function smoothly and there is no clogging anywhere. If you live your values, you will always have a good night sleep. You will be fearless and can face any challenge in life. The means to end is as important as the end in itself said Mahatma Gandhi.

Another interesting dimension of these three attributes are that they are inter dependant. High personal credibility leads to trust and you trust someone based on the values practised by them. Similarly, a solid foundation of values leads to trust and you trust someone, whose personal credibility is high.

So, my definition of Leadership is Personal Credibility, Trust and Values. 

What is yours ?

S Ramesh Shankar

#leadership; #followership; #bloggingfundamentals

Empathy


Our ability to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes is called empathy.  It is easier to define than practise.  While most of us sympathise with many situations, it may be much more difficult to empathise.  All of us go through difficult situations in life.  It is easier for us to advise others when we are far away from their realities.  It is like while  sitting in an air conditioned commentary box, it is easier for commentators and spectators to criticise the sportspersons.  It is much more difficult when you are faced with tough opponents in a sports field to face them.  The commentators, who have played the game know where the shoe pinches and hence their comments would be much more realistic than others.

Life is no different than any sport.  We have to play the game of life and be a winner.  It will pose difficult and easy situations for us to deal with.  While all incidents are not easy to deal with, we find it more difficult when we start getting unsolicited advise from people, who have never dealt with it before.  It is in such instances, we realise the value of empathy.  Anyone, who has been there and done that will never give you an impractical advise.  Such people are able to put themselves in your situation and hence their thoughts are more grounded to reality.

On the other hand, we get advise at home and work from many people around us, who have never experienced what we are facing in life.  It is not only difficult to digest such advise in life but more strenuous to listen to it.  We have to learn to be patient and listen to them although we may feel they are not useful.  It may be a good idea to listen to them, distil them and take only that, which is useful to you.

Empathy is critical both at home and at work.  As parents, siblings or children we gain more respect from other family members, when we are able to put ourselves in their situations before we advise them.  Similarly, as bosses, colleagues or team members, it may be worthwhile to advise from personal experience rather than theortical constructs.  If our team members believe that we have experienced such situations in our career before we give them advise, they value our advise more.

One of the Indian mythological theory called “Vidhurshastra” states that ” Never give an advise to an adult unless sought for”. It is possibly based on this premise of empathy.  It probably assumes that an adult will never seek advise from another person unless that person has gone through such an experience in life.  So, life is all about experiences.  If we are able to share our experience of how we failed or succeeded, it may get more valued.  On the other hand, if we give advise based on imagining a situation, it may have less credence.

Like a married couple can establish a happy relationship by empathising with each other as in the photo above.

Hence, it may be a good idea to put ourselves in the other person’s position, before we give advise.  What do you think ?

S Ramesh shankar