Pain versus Joy


The pain of one should not become the joy for another.  This is what exactly happened when a CEO of a respectable industrial group lost his job.  While most of us may not be aware of  why the CEO was sacked and whether it was a fair step or not, we took the liberty of commenting on it and also shared jokes on the social media.  I was a bit hurt and thought I should reflect on it.

All of us go through ups and downs in life.  Should the sorrow of one individual give joy to another.  I do not believe so.  Lets examine it from a sports perspective.  If we play a game and lose the match, we do not end up attacking our opponents.  On the other hand, we shake hands and congratulate our opponents for winning the game.  That is true sportman's spirit and that is the way all the games are played in the world.

Why should life be different ?  Today someone may lose his job.  Tomorrow, it could be us.  Why should we laugh at someone losing his job and share jokes on the social media.  What joy can it give us ?  If someone is in pain, we may need to empathise.  We cannot be happy and making fun of it.  We have to remember that it could happen to us and we may not be amused if someone laughs when we lose our job.

We may need to reflect on our day to day behaviour.  Do we rejoice at the pain of others ?  We could share jokes and have fun if someone shares a good news with us.  A  promotion at work or a medal in a game is worth sharing joy.  But, if someone is in a crisis, we need to put ourselves in their position.  We need to reflect and pray for them to get out of their crisis.  It does not matter whether it is because of them or inspite of them.  The fact that they are going through a pain must make us empathise with them rather than rejoicing.

We can look back at life.  We may have topped our class in school or college but do we ever rejoice at our classmates, who failed.  We don't and we should not.  It is quite possible that while we have topped in school, we may end up failing in a subject in college and our ill behaviour may haunt us when others laugh at us at our failure.  It is in moments of crisis, we need to be humane.

In the photo above on the border of south and north Korea, the people of both countries hope to unite some day again. The separation of the two countries could have meant sorrow for some and joy for others.

The situation is no different at the workplace.  While we may succeed in a project and a colleague may fail, we cannot afford to rejoice at the failure of our colleagues.  Our success today is because of the contribution of many of our team members.  Tomorrow if we laugh at the failure of others, the same team members may lose their trust in us and may not be happy to support us to succeed.

The joy of others can be a source of happiness for us.  We can celebrate joy and share pain.  This is the way life will teach us to balance the good and the bad and share our joy and pain in life.

Let us celebrate joy and share pain with others.

S Ramesh Shankar

Joy of writing


Almost four decades ago I used to write a bit of poetry and a few articles for our college magazine. Then as I grew up and got into work, this habit of writing almost disappeared.  It was just left to a few articles in some company newsletters or professional magazines.  My commitment to work took precedence and this art of writing faded into memory.

About a year back, I took my annual vacation with my wife and went for an Ayurvedic rejuvenation camp for three weeks. This hospital was in the backdrop of the western ghats amidst a rural landscape.  As I spent the day in my treatment, the evenings were spent in long walks along the country roads by the mountains, lakes and green fields. This sojourn with nature rekindled the writing spirit in me and I started writing blogs.  

Since then I have been writing blogs whenever my thoughts flow through my mind and my soul is tickled to express myself in words.  Today I publish a blog every week and God willing intend to publish a booklet of every hundred blogs I write.  This will enable me to share my reflections, feelings, thoughts and emotions with others and learn from their reactions too.

Today I experience the joy of writing.  As I sit down on my Ipad to express myself in words, the thoughts and feelings flow like the tributaries of a river.  It starts with a thought and then flows like a river.  Normally, I jot down every feeling I get and also the thoughts, which pass through my mind at different times of the day and night.  Then I start pondering over that thought or feeling and words flow through my fingers like the water wading though the rocks on the river bed finding its way downstream.

Words expressed in writing gives me joy.  Some people are good in sharing their feelings and thoughts by speaking about them.  I do share it the same way but the ease at which I can express in writing is more than what I can speak.  Normally, I prepare for my speeches and try to be spontaneous rather than reading from a script.  But, when I sit down to write, the emotions in my heart pour as words on the tablet as I try to express myself.

It is easy to share joy with others.  Sometimes it may be necessary to share sorrow too with your near and dear ones so that you feel lighter.  But I find it easiest to write down what I feel and then share it with everyone who is interested in reading my expressions.  This way I feel lighter, fearless and free flowing in my life.  Each of us have our own way of expressing ourselves and sharing our feelings and emotions.

As in the photo above, if you have the vastness of the sea in front of you and the mystic of the setting sun, then words flow through your pen like the waves on the sea shore.

Some of us like to be left alone and like to meditate.  While others like to read a book or listen to music.  My way of relaxing is to write and express myself in words.  It is this habit, which has helped me  de-stress myself and sharing my emotions with others.  Each of us have to find our own way of enjoying life.  There is nothing right or wrong about any hobby or habit. 

Let us discover our joy in life and enjoy it to the fullest.

S Ramesh Shankar

 Living within means


All of us dream to grow and prosper in life.  This is a natural human phenomenon.  It is fair to be ambitious and aim for the moon or even beyond.  We need to set our vision high, evolve our strategy, determine our actions and take the first steps.  Hard work, perseverance with a little bit of luck will definitely take us towards our goal.  We may not achieve what we want in the time frame we set ourselves.  But sooner than later we will accomplish our mission if we never give up.

Let us look back at our own lives.  We start as students in school and then college.  Apart from studying and giving our best in academics, we also strive to excel in sports and cultural activities.   No wonder our parents, friends and relatives are impressed.  Our parents try to give us pocket money for our sundry expenses.  It is here where our ability to balance income and expenditure begins. Living within our means is the first lesson in our lives as a student.

We then finish our studies and get into an employment or business vocation.  We dream to climb the corporate ladder at the shortest possible time.  If our parents reached the peak of their career in three decades, we want to  achieve the same in three years.  I admire this spirit in the youth today.  It is indeed filled with optimism and an appetite to take risks, which my generation did not even dream of.

However, there is one small point to be kept in mind.  There is no short cut to success in life.  Even if we look at the world’s best sportspersons, their successes and accomplishments are visible to us.  We do not see the millions of hours of hard work they put in or the number of failures they face before they succeed in their sport. It is this ability to be focussed and the “never say die” spirit, which accelerates our road to success.

As we reach our first milestone, we tend to believe that we have achieved our goal post.  We want to celebrate even before the ink has dried on our first offer letter.  While there may be nothing wrong in partying on the first night after our first offer, we need to remember that our long and strenuous journey to accomplish our mission has just begun.  It is at this stage we need to learn to become thrifty.  We may be tempted to live beyond our means.  We may be lucky to be brought up in a upper middle class family with all comforts.  It is our ability to realize the world is different now and all the comforts in life have to be earned by us through our own earnings is critical.

We end up competing with friends who come from rich family heritage and want to live a dream life  even before we have earned it.  It is at this stage, we need to get grounded and remind ourselves that life has just begun for us.  We have just run the first few kilometres of our life marathon.  We need to learn to save money every month to build the future of our choice.  It is like the marathon runners conserve their energy in the first few kilometres so as to put in their best foot forward in the last lap of the race.

Life is a journey and it has many facets. My learning in life is that if we can master the art of living within our means, we will always be happy.  Our expenditure should always be  less than our income.  We should never get into the credit trap.  We need to learn to enjoy life within our means.  After all happiness cannot be bought only by money.  Rather, I would say that money buys the least of happiness in life.

As in the photo above, Sikhism teaches you to be grounded, treat everyone as equal and live within your means.

Let us learn to live within our means from today.  After all, it is never too late to begin.

S Ramesh Shankar