Acceptance is the first step

We all strive to be life long learners in life. However, our ego comes in the way of our learning. We all make mistakes and probably learn from it. Some times we learn and at other times we do not. What comes in the way of our learning is our ego. Acceptance of our mistake is the first step in learning.

Many a time, we live in denial. We refuse to accept that we have made a mistake. This may be because, we are the eldest in the family and are feeling ashamed to accept it or may be, we are the boss at work and consider it below our prestige to accept our mistake.

Acceptance is the first step in the learning process. Once, we accept our mistake, we may be able to realise what went wrong and why ,and then learn from it. However, when we live in denial, acceptance itself becomes a challenge and then the question of learning does not arise.

If we notice children around us, we realise that they accept their mistakes ,faster than adults. They are not conditioned by the environment around them ,like us. They are ok to make mistakes, accept them, learn from them and move on.

But, as adults, we get very much conditioned by the environment around us. We are guided by the image, we want to project in the society ,around us. Our ego gets inflated ,as we grow from kids to adolescents and then adults. So ,even accepting a mistake we have committed ,becomes a daunting challenge for us.

Unless we are willing to accept a mistake, it may be very difficult to learn from it and not to repeat it, in our lives. What else could prevent us ,from taking this first basic step of acceptance. First, it could be ego, second it could be that we are not aware of our mistake and somebody needs to point it out ,to us.

While, at most times, we may be aware of the mistakes we do, there could be occasions, where we are not . But, this does not mean that we cannot seek feedback. It may be a good idea for us ,to seek guidance from people, more experienced than us.

We need to realise that we learn more from our mistakes, than our successes. In project management, it is always a practise ,to analyse a project after it is completed, to learn from the mistakes made, so that they are never repeated.

We need to do the same ,in life too. All of us are human and it is natural to make mistakes. What we need to learn is that ,accepting a mistake is the first step. Then ,we could understand the root cause and take preventive steps, so that we do not repeat the same mistake again.

As long as we consider life ,as a journey of continual learning, we may not hesitate to accept our mistakes. If we ever imagine that we have arrived in life, we may cease to learn. It is like a sportsperson. Even after winning an olympic gold medal, they are open to feedback and accept their mistakes and learn ,so that they can do better ,in the future.

Let us learn to accept from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

24th Dec 2024

 

Rain or sun, life goes on

I have lived and worked in different cities and towns across India. Each city or town has taught me a lot of life lessons. However, the maximum learning as a working professional I got from the city of Mumbai.

Mumbai never sleeps, literally. You can walk at dawn or at midnight and the city is buzzing with some activity or the other. What I really admire about this wonderful city is that – “Rain or sun, life goes on” .

I would like to share some of my key learnings ,from this maximum city. I have seen every one ,working hard for their living. Irrespective of being a driver or a house help, they are always on time and have no excuses to offer. My security guard in my apartment ,travelled at least 50 kms every day ,one way ,in train/bus and walk ,but was never late for his duty.

My house help supported us right through the year. She would turn up at the peak of summer or even during heavy monsoon ,on time ,every time. Even, when we would advise her not to come, she would turn up. This made us admire ,her professional ethics.

This experience is applicable, to every walk of life. If I booked a cab and wanted to catch an early morning flight, I would tell the cab to come at 3:45 am. He would turn up at 3:30 am and sometimes may even wake me up from bed if ,I miss my alarm.

At the work place, I have seen my colleagues ,travel from long distances taking trains and buses and never late for meetings or appointments. It is this work ethic , which makes this city instill that discipline ,in your blood.

I may even say that an electrician or a plumber ,would turn up for their appointment ,on the said date and time ,without fail. They would never find an excuse to postpone their visit, like in many other cities.

The buses and local trains ,run on time and is the life line of this city. What amazes me, is the discipline in every walk of life. Further, any catastrophe does not disrupt this city ,like any other in India. I have witnessed a terrorist attack and city was back to normal ,the very next day.

The resilience of the people living in this city is worth emulation. Interestingly, people from all over India ,come to this megapolis in quest of their dreams and slowly but surely, imbibe the professionalism of this city.

Another important lesson I learnt from this city , is the simplicity of the citizens. They may be diamond merchants or wealthy businessmen but you cannot make out from their dress or demeanour. We may make out someone is rich ,only when they get into a posh car as otherwise they walk and talk, like all common people.

Mumbai makes you into a Mumbaikar and this is admirable. Every city in India is unique and does offer something to learn. However, there is no city in India, which transforms your life and work ,into a thorough bred professional like Mumbai.

Let us learn to live on happily, irrespective of rain or sun ,from the city of Mumbai.

S Ramesh Shankar

24th Dec 2024

Silence speaks louder than words

Most of us love to speak, rather than listen. Although, God has given us two ears and one mouth, we tend to speak more than we listen. I have come across a few people in my life whose silence spoke louder than their words.

One such person was my father. He was my role model in life and taught me a lot of life lessons ,through his actions more than his words. He was a man of few words. His actions and non verbal behaviour spoke louder ,than his words.

He was a very patient man too. I have hardly seen him lose his cool at home or heard of him getting angry at work. While he hardly spoke, we as kids ,used to be quite scared of him. He never scolded us, but his silence made us realise ,what he did not like.

Sometimes, his face would turn red and we would know that something was amiss and we would disappear ,from that room. The learning he gave us was that silence can indeed be louder than words.

Even at his work place, I have met a few of his colleagues and they had high regards for him ,as their leader. When I asked them the reasons, most often ,they spoke of his power of silence. They said they never knew what he had in his mind and would keenly observe his actions, as words were always scarce from him.

My mother used to observe silence, when we ended up doing some mischief. She would stop speaking to us for days, till we apologised and promised ,never to repeat that mistake. So, silence was again her power to discipline us ,rather than scolding or abusing us ,as kids.

At my own workplace too, I have noticed that ,when I am quieter, I listen more actively and observe more diligently. Even in meetings, the people who do not speak much, provide greater insights rather than the drum beaters.

Even nature teaches us, the power of silence. When we enter a forest alone ,on a walk, the hustling of trees or the singing of birds, kindle our inner consciousness. We are not speaking to anyone around us but the inner thoughts get kindled and a lot of new ideas and insights, come to our mind.

The best of leaders, use silence ,as their ultimate weapon. They listen more, speak less and let their actions speak for themselves. It is this trait ,we need to imbibe, to be more effective as leaders.

We need to realise that ,verbosity may not always define effectiveness as leaders ,in any context. We need to train ourselves ,to use silence as a potent weapon ,to convey our thoughts more than our words, both at home and the work place.

Many of us tend to speak ,even before we are asked. We tend to advise even when nobody is seeking it. We tend to intervene in an argument, even when both parties ,are not seeking our intervention. On the contrary, the best of leaders will make their silence speak on their behalf.

Let our silence speak more than our words ,from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

24th Dec 2024