We do not realise many a time as to when life begins and when it ends. Many of us tend to believe that life begins at birth and ends at our death. It may or may not be true. This is because we do not live life fully till the day we realise what life is ?

I have met people in my life who have worked very hard and toiled their way through ups and downs, sacrificed their lives for their family, relatives or friends but never lived life to its full glory.

I am not advocating leading a self fulfilling life at the cost of others. I am suggesting that one needs to live life the way one would like to without any full stops.

This means we have to believe life may have commas, semi colons and colons but never a full stop. Every obstacle in our life could be an enabler for our resolve to live life fully. Most of us get stumped by the commas and semi colons of life. We need to believe that everyone goes through a “Sonder” in their lives. We are no different. We need to believe that if the sun sets today, it has to rise tomorrow in our lives too.

I do not believe that that the sun sets forever in anybody’s life. All hurdles and challenges are only ephemeral. They will disappear as fast as they appear. If we postpone living life to a tomorrow, it may never come.

We need to live life today and every day of our lives. While yesterday will fade away, sometimes a tomorrow of our choice may be elusive. It may be worthwhile to believe that “today” is the best day of our lives. We also need to believe that there are millions of people around the world, whose lives are more challenging than ours.

A feeling of gratitude for all that we have in life as compared to those millions of have nots may make all the difference to our lives and living. The pandemic today worldwide is a good reminder for all of us for being grateful for all that we have.

Most of us have a place to live in, food to eat, a family to support and friends to cherish. What else can we ask for ? Imagine the plight of the migrant labour who has lost his job in an urban city , then forced to migrate to his village and unable to feed his family and self . Aren’t we better off than most of such stories of people losing lives and livelihood. Isn’t it time for us to rekindle our conscience and bow in gratitude to God.

I have worked and lived in different parts of India. Hailing from a lower middle class family I have worked hard to earn my living. Today when I look back, I realise how fortunate I have been right throughout my life and lived the way I always wanted to. Although, I did not have all the material things I may have desired at the early stages of my life, I always had love and happiness in abundance.

The best is to learn from our kids. Even in the most difficult times, they will find happiness in small things of life and enjoy. It is time to realise that money cannot buy love and happiness.

As in the photo above, irrespective of what others think this girl is admiring her smile.

Let us bow in gratitude and live life to the fullest from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

8th October 2020

I started working with computers way back in 1985, when the public sector I used to work for introduced computers for the first time . The computers used to be like a piece of art and kept under velvet covers inside cabins of very senior managers.

As time passed by, we got opportunities to touch and feel computers and today it is almost in the hand of every individual in the form of smart mobiles, laptops or smart notebooks. Today, we possibly cannot think of our lives without the ubiquitous mobile or notebook around us all the time.

One of the fascinating things of a computer is that it is fun and a great aid when it works but it literally puts you out of your senses when it stops. Many of us have become practising hardware or software engineers by chance rather than by choice. We try all our tricks under the trade without knowing much about it. The most often trick applied to reset and restart a computer which is not working is to press the “Control+Alt+del” buttons.

A few days back I realised I need to do the same with myself. I was in the midst of many things happening around me – both personal and work wise and felt that I was getting mentally and physically exhausted. It is at such times, you feel you need to reset and restart your life all over again.

Resetting your life and restarting could be different for different people in their lives. For me, one of the best ways to relax, reset and restart my life is to go on a long drive to a hill or a beach and be with myself amidst nature. I did exactly the same.

I booked a club on a hill resort and drove away from my city for a short break. A beautiful drive along green forests and virgin hills makes you one with nature. The last lap was in the midst of a beautiful green forest and the twining roads of the hills.

I reached my destination safely and in view of the pandemic decided to spend a few days all with myself and my spouse with no agenda and no schedules. We had breakfast, lunch and dinner at the allocated times, looked at the plantations through the balcony, listened to some relaxing music and rested day and night.

I realised just like machines, man also needed to reset and restart his life once in a way. The periodicity may differ from person to person. It is upto you to decide when you need to press the “control+alt+del” in your life. There is no right or wrong time. Each of us have our life keyboard with us and we are the pilots of our own destinies. It is upto us to decide when to start and when to end.

As in the photo above, when three of my classmates met recently we agreed that we need to reset and restart our lives periodically.

Today I feel refreshed and will go back to my regular routine from tomorrow after a nice drive back home again. It is upto you to decide what can help you to relax. As I said, while it is a nice drive and a place close to nature for me, it could be siting at home for you or watching a cricket or football match in a stadium.

Is it time to reset and restart your own life today ?

S Ramesh Shankar

5th April 2021

If you are married, you are lucky and if you aren’t you are not unlucky. Sabka time aayega( everybody’s time will come). I have been married for 37 years and have enjoyed every moment of married life so far.

If you have a wife, you will have strife and that is life. Life without strife with wife is like food without spices. The best of Indian food will be tasteless if you don’t add spices. Similarly, if you have don’t have conflicts with your spouse, then life is not fun.

Marriage is a social institution where two partners meet each other to lead life together. Sometimes we know each other even before marriage and at other times we discover each other only after marriage. Whether it is love marriage or arranged marriage, life is fun when we are open to each other and are willing to fight with each other only to sit down and resolve our differences through dialogue.

Conflict is an integral part of married life. However, one of the two partners has to accept that if we are magnanimous, then any dispute between us can be resolved through dialogue. This may be easier said than done. Listening and willing to let go of our egos can resolve any misunderstanding between us.

We need not agree to each other at all times to be happy. We need to learn to respect each other’s differences as much as we celebrate our similarities. Learning to respect differences is the art of successful partnership.

In life, you meet people who may not agree with you. But you love the way they disagree with you. Even in parliament when an opposition leader bitterly criticises the government of the day and if the treasury benches stand up to appreciate the way the criticism is delivered we realise that differences can be encouraged and respected.

Similarly, in life we may like something which our spouse may not and vice versa. So what. We can learn to live together appreciating each other’s differences. I love driving my car for long trips and my wife does not. Both of us have learnt to enjoy the journey together. Neither I crib about driving nor my wife cribs about being driven around.

There may be days we may not even talk to each other. Sometimes silence can be the best language to use to resolve differences. Most of us may not realise that listening is more difficult than speaking. Many of us prefer to speak rather than listen. The day we learn to listen, we may be able to resolve any dispute with anyone.

If anyone thinks marriage is a bed of roses, they may be mistaken. Is it a road full of thorns – no it isn’t. It is mix of both. There will be some days where you will be flying high together in the sky. There will be others when you will regret coming together. But the success lies in managing both in such way that you make other a winner. Marriage is a conjunction of mutual partnership with mutual respect.

Lets learn to live together always.

S Ramesh Shankar

21st February 2021