There is an old Sanskrit shloka, which states – “ Matru devo bhava, Pitru devo bhava, Acharya devo bhava and Athithi devo bhava.” It means treat your mother like God, treat your father like God, treat your teachers like God and treat your guests like God.

Today, we seem to have forgotten this verse, in letter and spirit. Our mother gives birth to us and sacrifices almost everything in her life including her career sometimes, to rear us, as good human beings. The love and affection of our mothers, mould us into compassionate and empathetic human beings.

Our father quietly takes care of the family and generally does more than what he expresses in words. He is there around for us ,whenever we need him. He is like the backbone for us, in life. His absence could make us distraught, although we may not truly value his presence, when he is around.

If we move to our teachers, they not only impart the best education for us but also mould our character by their words and deeds. We realise their value ,when we leave the precincts of the educational institutions. We value them more ,when we face tough challenges in life and they are around always, to guide us whenever and wherever ,we need their support.

Lastly, our epics teach us to treat our guests like God. We seem to have completely forgotten this, in our busy lives. A guest today ,needs to seek an appointment ,to visit us. Earlier, we visited friends or relatives without any intimation. Today, we cannot meet anyone including our relatives ,without prior appointment.

I am not sure ,if life has evolved this way or we have erased the good learning of our past and justify it ,by the busy life of today. This is evident from the fact that, not everyone around us ,has forgotten their parents, teachers or guests. It is only some of us, who claim to be busier than others , who behave this way.

If I have to reflect back, I would say ,the best way to be grateful to our parents ,would be to respect them unconditionally and take care of them, to the best of our abilities. We need to remember ,that our parents are not looking for any material support ,in most cases. They are yearning only for our love and affection.

The best way to respect our teachers ,would be to live their values, in our everyday lives. If we say and do things, which our teachers would be proud of hearing, we may make their day. Of course, visiting them whenever possible and enquiring about their health and welfare would be a great tribute ,to their contributions to our lives.

Lastly, how do we treat guests. A guest is called “athithi” in sanskrit. This literally means someone, on who comes without an appointment. We need to welcome guests unconditionally. We cannot have appointments for our siblings, friends or relatives. Just like, we cannot have our team members take appointments to meet us ,if we are their leaders ,working in organisations. It is believed ,that if we treat our guests like God, we could be blessed by the Almighty and some one else in our lives ,could also treat us that way.

Let us rediscover ourselves today and learn to respect parents, teachers and guests and be proud of our heritage.

S Ramesh Shankar

9th April 2024

 

We all are afraid of some things in life. On the other hand, we are courageous to take up other things in life. What causes fear and what promotes courage may be worthwhile to explore ?

If we recall our childhood, many of us are courageous ,in front of our grand parents but scared of our parents. Some teachers do not instil fear in us, while others do. Some managers give us all the freedom, while others terrorise us.

Now, we need to understand, what causes fear ? Parents who have grown up in a closed environment, where their parents believed fear was the best tool to instil discipline in children, practise and perpetuate the same.

Similarly some teachers believe that creating an open environment in the classroom ,could challenge their own positions. They may even be worried about their knowledge or skills being tested ,as they are scared of not knowing the answer or accepting lack of knowledge. The best teachers learn from their students ,as much as they teach them.

At the workplace, insecure managers and leaders ,can manage their teams ,only by creating fear in the minds of their team members. An inspiring leader ,will not be afraid to accept mistakes or be challenged on anything they say or do.

Fear is negative in all its forms, whereas courage is positive. If we create fear as parents, teachers or leaders, it reflects more on own insecurity rather than on our ability to manage our people.

Now, the question is “How do we eliminate fear ,in the environment we operate ? . It is by promoting curiosity and being accessible to your people. We need not know ,all the answers. We could take time to respond or sometimes even accept our lack of knowledge. Our teams respect us ,for how we treat them ,rather than who we are.

Fear could create a short term feeling ,that we are in command. But, the reality is that, it erodes our credibility in the long term. On the other hand, creating a friendly and open environment and encouraging our people to be courageous ,can enable us ,to be loved as leaders.

If we look around us in our own lives, we may realise that the best people we admire in our lives – be it relatives, friends, family or in the organisation or community around us ,are the people, who have encouraged us to lead a courageous life.

They have not instilled fear in us ,by their actions or deeds. On the other hand, they have promoted an environment of openness around us, which enables us to be courageous and make the right decisions in life. Even, if we make mistakes sometimes, it encourages us to accept our errors and learn from them.

We need to realise that “fear” is regressive, while instilling “courage” is progressive.

Let the journey begin today.

S Ramesh Shankar

7th April 2024

 

We come across people of various types reacting to the same situation differently. Some are anxious all the time in most situations while others are calm and cool like a cucumber even in a crisis situation.

If we need to understand how the same situation can trigger different behaviours in individuals, we need to put ourselves in their position. our behaviour ,is a response to our beliefs and values. It is based on how we perceive the situation ,around us.

I know a friend, who is a perfectionist and wants everything to be at its place, in the house or outside. He gets irritated ,if someone does not put things back in place ,after using it. On the other hand, another friend thrives in chaos. The more chaotic a situation is, the more effective she becomes.

We may have seen people reacting differently, to the same situation. Let me illustrate this ,with a few examples. I recall ,we had a union leader in one of the organisations I worked in, who always came to meet me with a bunch of his supporters and behaved in a rude manner.

I was young and used to get irritated, till the day I met the same union leader, in the presence of one his seniors. The senior admonished this leader and told him that, if he comes with a few of his supporters, the management will think that ,only that many are his followers. Further, rude behaviour will invite rebuke and hence calmness may be more effective and yield better results.

Although, I should confess that this union leader did not change much in his behaviour, it was a great life lesson for me from. Calmness is more effective than getting anxious ,in any situation. Calmness is to be nurtured and developed, while anxiousness may be a normal human reaction.

We need to believe that the environment is the same ,for all of us. The way we react to a situation ,is in our hands as we need to realise that we cannot change the circumstances we live in ,but definitely can mould the way we react to the same.

Sports and games provide great life lessons. We experience that teams which end up in the same situation ,win or lose based on the calmness of their leaders. When we get anxious, we lose control of ourselves and are swayed by the circumstances. This way we may end up in making silly mistakes and thereby lose control of our action.

On the other hand, successful leaders in life and work, are always calm and collected. They listen ,more than they speak. They are not adversely impacted by the environment. They thrive in any situation since they are cool and listen to everyone ,before they take any action.

Let us learn to be calm and get over all our anxieties in life.

S Ramesh Shankar

9th Feb 2024