Man is a social being and hence needs the company of other beings at most times of his life. Another dimension of life is the emotions we go through at different stages of life. It could be joy, sadness, anger or irritation. Every emotion is stirred by a stimulus and then it impacts your life and moods. Most of us enter the world crying and leave this planet without any emotions.

Every emotion stirs our being and we want to know why it happened. When we are happy, we are keen to share the joy with others. The spirit of sharing makes us more happy. Even in moments of sadness, we want to share our sorrow. It is said in most religions that you should never miss a funeral if you come to know of some close friend or relative’s death. This is because this will be the last mortal journey and you can express your grief to that person.

On the other hand, on the birth of a kid to a relative or a friend, you will always have a second chance to wish them in the future if you miss the first day of birth due to any reasons. Interestingly, our religions and rituals do teach us a lot of basic humanness provided we are willing to learn from them. We generally tend to consider these rituals and either ignore them or disregard them.

Today, technology is increasingly making us emotion less. I am the first to adopt technology in every aspect of my life. I use the social media and all possible apps to ease my life. They are indeed very useful and makes my life easy and enjoyable. However, I do realize that wishing a friend or relative in person on their birthday cannot be replaced by millions of posts on social media. There is no substitute for the personal touch.

I realised this lately in my life. It’s always a good idea to use social media and emails to communicate with family and friends. It is indeed very efficient. However, if you want to touch someone’s life, you need to visit them, give them a hug or at least pick up the phone and speak to them. Virtual messages and emoticons cannot be filled with emotions. Our voice and physical presence are capable of sharing our emotions.

I am used to instantly recognising my colleagues at work. I feel good doing it publicly and as soon as the incident happens. I recently started writing appreciation letters in my own handwriting and when some of colleagues said that they framed and preserved these letters for their life time, I realised the value of personalisation and its impact on their emotions.

I would urge people from all generations to continue to adapt to the digital world to make themselves more efficient. However, I would further urge everyone to keep their emotional connect intact. The virtual world is untouchable. It is emotion less even with a million emoticons. The real world is a world of feelings. The emotions expressed by us to others and others to us, touches us.

Children and animals best express emotions without any inhibitions. We can learn to be spontaneous from them.

We need to learn to laugh and cry every day. We need to be like the child unadulterated in expressing our emotions. We need to be willing to be generous in sharing joy with others and make them happier every day. Every emotion expressed and shared helps us to be healthy and wise. An emotion less person is lonely and depressed. Even the animals are touched by emotions. So, why cant we as humans learn from them.

Let us start today.

S Ramesh Shankar.

I have always wondered as to why people feel lonely in today’s world. I have met people in different age groups and in different classes of society who are lonely. One may have thousands of friends in the social media but still feels lonely. My insight is that technology and social media can help you improve your reach and efficiency but it can never give you solace or share emotions with you.

This could be the reason for the loneliness of people. Today people travel around the world and are able to earn wealth to their heart’s content. But they do not have people around them with whom they can laugh or cry. They can share their joy around the world with their online friends within seconds. But virtual sharing does not touch the emotions in their body. They cannot share their tears of joy or sorrow with anyone.

I remember an incident where a young colleague working with me in a multinational company wanted to work in a foreign country. I tried my best and then sent him on a delegation to New Zealand from India. He was excited and profusely thanked me for this opportunity. He was very happy to land at this beautiful country of milk and mountains. He was enthralled with the natural beauty of this country.

I was happy that he got an opportunity and he was enjoying his experience. But within two weeks he called me that he wanted to return to India. I was worried as to what went wrong. I enquired about his health and welfare. He said everything was ok. When probed a bit further he said that he felt lonely in this country. He drove for miles on the road and did not find anyone around. He could only see a few herds of sheep and cattle at a distance. He had nobody to share his joy or loneliness.

This made me realize that man is a social being. He needs to have people around him to be happy. If you are bought up in place where you meet thousands of people on the road even on the highway when are you driving you get used to this scenario. When you end up in a foreign land where you hardly meet people on the road, you are anxious and lonely. This may lead to anxiety and depression in your life.

Today people are busy on their mobile phones finding friends and relationships. They neither have the time nor the skills to meet people face to face and build relationships. They do not have many people around them to share their emotions. Joint families have broken down into nuclear families. Children are not encouraged to play in the park and make friends. They are busy on tablets, mobiles or televisions playing games and making friends. No wonder human beings are getting lonelier by the day.

The only difference I can see between human beings and animals is that we have emotions and we can express ourselves. We are capable of sharing our joy and sorrow with others. However, when we deny ourselves of this privilege we end up as lonely beings only fiddling with our mobile phones. We feel awkward to talk to co-passengers in a plane, train or bus. We are busy watching a movie, listening to music or playing games in our own electronic devices.

As in the photo above, you may feel lonely in a crowd or even in a heritage monument surrounded by pillars.

It is time to wake up to this reality. It is time to learn from our fore fathers. It is time to realise that we are a social being. It is time to share our feelings and emotions with others. It is time to use technology to enable our efficiency and share our feelings and emotions with others to be socially alive and happy in life.

Is it time to wake up ?

S Ramesh Shankar

I sometimes wonder if it is worthwhile to celebrate all these days in a year by sending flowers or gifts to our near and dear ones. I believe these days are created by the marketeers to sell more products for their brands.

In my personal view, it is not worth killing flowers by sending bouquets or sending gifts to our mothers, fathers, siblings or friends. It is more symbolic and does not serve any purpose. We may end up sending gifts which they don’t need or already have them.

What could be a better way to celebrate these days. I reflected on it since I realised that the third Sunday of June is considered Father’s Day. I lost my father when I was 25. It took me more than a year to recover from this shock. However, assuming he was alive today, I may not have sent him flowers or gifts. On the other hand, I would prefer to commit to myself to imbibe one great quality of his in myself.

When I started my career in 1981, I was a very impatient guy. I lost my temper the drop of a hat and was least bothered about the impact it would have had on the people around me. I was given feedback by my family members, friends and colleagues, which I ignored it at my own peril.

But over the years I had seen my father as an epitome of patience. I have seen him lose his cool only twice in my lifetime. I decided one day that I could learn and imbibe this quality from him. I have since then tempered myself and can happily confess that today I have a lot of patience at work and at home. My family and colleagues will vouch for it. I may lose my cool once or twice a year.

So, my recommendation is to pick one great quality from your father and imbibe it. It may not be easy and may take many years to inculcate. But, this would be a better gift to our fathers than gifts of bouquets, which may not mean much to them. Our transformation into a better human being will be valued by them much more than any gift can do on earth.

This step could be for Father’s Day or Mother’s Day or sisters day or brothers day. It does not matter whose day we are celebrating. After all we can learn goodness from all people around us – younger or older, relatives or friends.

It is time to challenge some of the rituals imposed by the marketeers of the world. It is time to be different and lead by example for our future generations. We should leave behind rituals for our future generations, which are inspirational and not those which are mechanical in spirit.

Time to start is today as it is Father’s Day.

S Ramesh Shankar

16th June 2019