Category: Emotions/Relationships

Connectedness

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We feel connected to people and things around us. This feeling of connectedness is to be experienced to be believed. I have met people during my travels whom I may not meet again in my life. I may not have spoken a word with them during my journey in a flight or train. We may have just spoken to each other through our eyes but the connections are strong.

This happens with both people and things. I have sometimes looked at a beautiful piece of art in someone’s home and got connected to it. It could be a statue of Buddha or a fountain and you feel as if there is some connection between you and the object. I have not found any rational in such connectedness. But the feelings and emotions within you are stirred and you feel strongly about it.

I was recently siting in an airport lounge and two people came to me and asked me if I was so and so. When I told them I was not that person, they could not believe it. They felt that they have met me somewhere and know me very well. Similar incidents have also happened with my spouse, who mostly travels with me in all my personal travels. Some people say that there are seven people in the world who look similar. This may also be just a belief and I have not found any scientific basis for the same.

I was in a yoga class in Lonavala and had a similar feeling of connectedness towards my teacher. When I told her she said she also experienced the same and I resembled one of her uncles. This may look strange but it is true. I am not sure if we start imagining someone known to us when we go through such experiences. It could be gut. It could be stored memories of past experiences. I am not bothered about the source of such feelings. I believe such feelings are beautiful and one has to experience them to appreciate them.

I was once in an alumni meet of my college mates in Pondicherry. I felt connected to a Buddha statue in brass. I went round and round and then after a bit of negotiations could not desist from buying the statute. It is still in my home and every time I see it I feel a sense of serenity. This feeling is shared by my spouse and my sister and her son. It is strange but it is true. Why do we need to justify all our feelings or behaviour ? It may be fun to just experience such feelings and enjoy it as it happens to you.

I once met a co traveller in Switzerland. Both of us were climbing the Jungfraw on a holiday. We had never met before nor have we met after that. But the way we connected with each other was amazing. It looked as if I knew her for ages and we were childhood friends. We felt secure in each other’s company and enjoyed our journey together. We have been connected on social media but not much exchange after that incident.

Every incident of this nature makes me believe that there is an emotional connection between us and the people and things around us. Some people attract us like magnets and encourage them to connect with them. There could be others who get attracted to others in a similar way. We get attached to things around us too and sometimes even feel like talking to them. I have seen people talking to statutes of God as if they they respond to human emotions.

Both me and my wife feel connected to nature. Amidst nature, we get immersed in thoughts and emotions as in the photo above.

Life is an exciting journey and every such incident adds mystery to our lives. I enjoy discovering the mysteries of life everyday. Every person I meet and interact give me an opportunity to learn and grow. Every incident of connecting with people and things makes me believe of the possibilities of life. We need to live on hope and belief. If we believe life is full of possibilities it becomes one.

Let us makes the best of life.

S Ramesh Shankar

Anything natural is generally good…

IMG_0131I have always been an admirer of nature. I have admired nature in all its forms. I love the hills, mountains, rivers, deserts and the sea. I love trees, forests, animals and birds. Of course, I like human beings and love to observe how they behave with all forms of nature. I have wondered as to how we have progressively tried to destroy nature in the name of growth and development.

I am a diabetic and had switched over to sunflower oil and other so called healthy diet based on what I read and believed from people around me. I then met a leading diabatologist in Mumbai. He advised me to go back to my roots. He simply stated that I should follow the diet patterns my family has been following over centuries. For eg. He advised me to switch back to TIL oil from sunflower oil. He said nature has a way of adapting the body to suit the health of human beings. If you belong to a particular region, you should follow the food habits of that region.

This was a revelation for me. I started believing that “Anything natural is good”. It is not only true but experience of mine substantiates this belief. While technology and science has helped us develop wonderful things, I still realize that there is no substitute for similar things found in nature. It is like no perfume on earth can invigorate me more than fresh jasmine flowers in my garden.

I am yet to see a painting more beautiful than the skyline every evening during sunset. There is no building in the world which is more intricate than a bee hive or an ant hill if you dig deep into how they are constructed. Similarly I am yet to experience the joy of being in the midst of a dense forest , in the city centre of the best cities of the world. I do not know why but nature engulfs you. It embraces you and makes you feel special.

As human beings instead of learning from nature, we have tried our best to destroy it. A simple example is the use of plastic. While plastic is a great discovery and it has benefited us in multiple ways, it is unnatural and hence harmful in many ways too. It has choked drains, killed kids, and has been the root cause of many catostrophies because of human misuse.

If we look at the contra of my hypothesis, I believe everything unnatural is harmful to human beings. While artificial sweeteners and flavours can quench our taste buds they are ultimately harmful to human consumption. It may be more beneficial to have juices from fresh fruits rather than carbonated drinks. The marketeers of these carbonated drinks may have made us believe how prestigious it is to consume them.

It could be neem leaves or its extract to brush your teeth and compare it to the multiple chemicals used in our toothpastes every day. It could a cup of fresh milk in the morning as compared to diet drink today, which has no nutrients. We were eating fresh fruits as part of our breakfast. Today we take artificially flavoured cereals, which may lose their original nutrient value because of the unnatural ingredients.

Jack fruit as in the photo above is considered the king of all fruits and has multiple benefits. Almost every part of the fruit and tree is useful to human beings.

It is time to wake up. It is time to bounce back. We need to get back to nature. We need to protect our trees and animals. We need to protect the earth and may be other planets from all the pollution and waste we are dumping on them. We need to realize that nature gives us everything we want for a sustainable living and further keeps us happy. Instead of giving back in equal measure, we have ended up destroying nature.

Time to wake up and get natural.

S Ramesh Shankar

Create Passion not Tension

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Employees around us complain of stress and tension. Some of it is self inflicted but most of it is imposed by their managers or leaders. Why do leaders create tension ? I have never understood this phenomenon. It could be due to genuine inability to keep their stress to themselves or their lack of self confidence. It could also reflect on their inability as a leader. Some leaders also believe that they can get the best output from their team if they create tension. The contrary may be true in reality.

What should managers do to get the best from their team members ? Managers should create a vision and then infuse passion in their team. The vision will give direction to their team and the passion will take them towards their common vision. So, managers need to realise that they can get the best from their team if they create passion, not tension.

What happens when you create tension for your team ? First and foremost, nobody wants to work for you in the long term. Second, your team will lose their self confidence and will falter at every turn of a project. They will dread failure and will run away from your team at the first possible opportunity. Nobody enjoys stress and that too from his or her manager.

Stress leads to tension and this in turn leads to negativity in the team. The environment drains the energy of the team and everyone ends up finding fault with each other. Most of the deadlines are not met. There is no positive vibes in the team. The attrition in such teams will be the highest. Most of the team members will look for opportunities outside and will ditch the time at the first possible instance.

On the other hand, what happens to teams, where leaders create passion. It’s fun to work in such teams. The leader generally raises the bar. They create a very enviable vision along with the team. The team is party to the co-creation of the vision. This ensures that every team member is passionate about how they can contribute to attaining that collective vision.

Positivity is the second name of such teams. Everyone around wants to join such teams. They are willing to sacrifice from short term benefits to work in such teams. Money, time or resources are never a constraint in such teams. We typically see this in start ups. The promoter or a leader shares a brilliant idea. Then they work with the team to visualise the future together. Once this is done, there is nothing which can stop the team members give their best to achieve the team’s success.

I am not one stating that it is absolutely not necessary to set stretched targets to your team. In times of crisis, an atmosphere of urgency is needed to deliver results. Army commanders at the front line command by inspiration. Their commitment is leadership by example. They do not put their foot soldiers in front and stay behind. Similarly, good leaders will lead from the front. Even when they create a sense of urgency, their team members are keen to contribute their best and do not reel under tension.

As in the photo above, if someone is passionate about cycling, they will do it every day and not consider it a tension to maintain their health.

All of us are or would be team leaders in the future. It is important to remember that stress and tension creates negative energy. Passion and vision creates positivity. As managers and leaders we have to create a positive culture infused with fun at the workplace. This may be easier said than done. But once we are able to create this environment, we need not bother. The team gallops even when we want them to walk. If we struggle to do it by ourselves, we can learn from the best leaders around us.

Let us try to live our passion every day.

S Ramesh Shankar