We all strive to be life long learners in life. However, our ego comes in the way of our learning. We all make mistakes and probably learn from it. Some times we learn and at other times we do not. What comes in the way of our learning is our ego. Acceptance of our mistake is the first step in learning.

Many a time, we live in denial. We refuse to accept that we have made a mistake. This may be because, we are the eldest in the family and are feeling ashamed to accept it or may be, we are the boss at work and consider it below our prestige to accept our mistake.

Acceptance is the first step in the learning process. Once, we accept our mistake, we may be able to realise what went wrong and why ,and then learn from it. However, when we live in denial, acceptance itself becomes a challenge and then the question of learning does not arise.

If we notice children around us, we realise that they accept their mistakes ,faster than adults. They are not conditioned by the environment around them ,like us. They are ok to make mistakes, accept them, learn from them and move on.

But, as adults, we get very much conditioned by the environment around us. We are guided by the image, we want to project in the society ,around us. Our ego gets inflated ,as we grow from kids to adolescents and then adults. So ,even accepting a mistake we have committed ,becomes a daunting challenge for us.

Unless we are willing to accept a mistake, it may be very difficult to learn from it and not to repeat it, in our lives. What else could prevent us ,from taking this first basic step of acceptance. First, it could be ego, second it could be that we are not aware of our mistake and somebody needs to point it out ,to us.

While, at most times, we may be aware of the mistakes we do, there could be occasions, where we are not . But, this does not mean that we cannot seek feedback. It may be a good idea for us ,to seek guidance from people, more experienced than us.

We need to realise that we learn more from our mistakes, than our successes. In project management, it is always a practise ,to analyse a project after it is completed, to learn from the mistakes made, so that they are never repeated.

We need to do the same ,in life too. All of us are human and it is natural to make mistakes. What we need to learn is that ,accepting a mistake is the first step. Then ,we could understand the root cause and take preventive steps, so that we do not repeat the same mistake again.

As long as we consider life ,as a journey of continual learning, we may not hesitate to accept our mistakes. If we ever imagine that we have arrived in life, we may cease to learn. It is like a sportsperson. Even after winning an olympic gold medal, they are open to feedback and accept their mistakes and learn ,so that they can do better ,in the future.

Let us learn to accept from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

24th Dec 2024

 

 

We have seen people giving advice even without being asked. According to “Vidhurshastra”, one should give advise to an adult, only when asked. I would extend it to all age groups. Why give advice to anyone of any age, unless you are asked for it.

It may be easy to advise anyone, but following the advice in our lives, may be difficult. I would first delve into our roles ,in our own family or friend circles. Imagine giving advise to your spouse or kids ,without following the same.

A simple example could be advising our kids to go to school on time while we go late to office. Our children, when young, may not object to our advise but as they grow into adolescents ,they will lose respect for us, as parents.

The story with friends ,may not be very different. Imagine advising a friend to be thrifty, while you yourself ,are getting into a credit card debt trap and the same friend discovers it. Our credibility will be at stake.

The work situation too may be similar. As a senior in a team, we could take the liberty ,of giving unsolicited advice. A team leader ,could demand unreasonable results ,in a challenging environment. But the same team leader ,may give up in a similar situation ,when asked by her manager.

I would prefer to define leadership as ,leading by example. Whether at the home front, the societal situation or at the workplace, if we tend to practise first ,before we preach, we tend to build our credibility and will always be respected for it.

A commander in the Army ,always leads from the front. She or he will lead their battalion from the front and not ask their team members to fight the enemy first and lead from behind them. A senior pilot will take the first sortie to attack the enemy ,before sending his junior pilots to follow.

Life is no different. In every aspect of life, we are expected to give advice ,only when asked for. We will be revered ,only when we lead by example. A captain of a team in sports ,will go to face the most difficult situation ,first himself ,before sending his other team members ,to face the same.

The workplace is also no different. As leaders, we have to set an example for our teams to follow ,by our deeds and not by our words. A leader who preaches before practising the same ,in his own life ,will never be respected by his team.

Even at home, our children will seek advice from us ,when they see us practise what we are about to tell them. Our spouse also, expects us to follow ,before we advise them on anything.

Practising before preaching ,is like listening before speaking. If we listen before we speak, people will pay attention to us. On the other hand, speaking before listening ,is like preaching before practising.

Life is all about practising before preaching. Let us practise it from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

30th Sep 2024

 

Every one of us want to be novel and creative in every move of ours. But, some of us feel that we are stagnating and not creative enough in our work or lives. Why does this happen and what do we need to do to transcend from stagnation to creativity.

Let us start with our lives. Why do some of us feel, we are always at the dead end of a street while others keep moving forward. We may come from similar backgrounds and have similar resources. But, some of us thrive in chaos, while others stagnate.

I am an avid traveller. Let me share what my experience taught me, when my g p s failed. I was once driving through a ghat section in the interiors of Karnataka near Sringeri. My gps failed. I felt being stuck. It was a dense forest road and no directions or people to guide me.

In such a situation, there are multiple choices before us. One is to sit and cry and curse ourselves or people travelling with us ,for this state of affairs. The other is to consider it as an adventure, with the hope that it will lead us somewhere. If we chose the former, then we may be stuck where we were, for the rest of the day. On the other hand, if we are willing to take the risk and drive on ,with the hope that ,we may meet someone and it may lead us to the destination, it may happen.

In this situation, I moved on and drove wherever the mud path lead me to. I met a few people on the road and when enquired they gave me contradictory directions. But, I did not give up hope and continued my journey. My spouse also told me , let us enjoy this adventure of exploration.

Life is no different. We may at times feel ,that we have reached a dead end in our career or life. We have multiple choices before us. We can feel frustrated and feel low.. Alternatively, we can explore options before us. The pandemic of covid 19, was one such instance. I know people who wasted two years ,of the lock down period. I am also aware of others, who upskilled themselves and also enriched their knowledge, in their areas of interest.

In every situation, the choices are always, before us. If sometimes, we feel ,that we are not able to evaluate the options, we have resources around us. It can be our family members, friends, colleagues or relatives. Nothing prevents us from seeking advice, if we think we are not able to generate options ,for our challenges.

If we look at what differentiates the creative people vis a vis the stagnating people in life – it is their ability to create and explore options, risk taking and trying out new things ,even if they fail. Utilising resources around them when they think they cannot create enough alternatives themselves is their capability.

Let us live creatively and not stagnate in thoughts or action from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

4th April 2024