We all aspire to do well in life. One of the first thing, which attracts us to measure our success in life is money. When we start our career in a corporate or even as an entrepreneur, we struggle to make both ends meet in our life. We dream of making it big in our career in a corporate or in our business and earning enough to live our dreams in life.

This journey of earning enough money, seems to be a journey with no end at sight. Whatever we earn, we tend to spend and wonder, why it is not enough, to fulfil our needs in life. What we sometimes forget, is that “needs” can be fulfilled but “greed” can never be quenched.

The day we realise that our needs are limited and greed is not, we may have arrived in life. It is like the river flowing down the plains from its origin. As the river flows, it may think ,it is going to expand and grow and never end. But, when it reaches the ocean and merges into it, it realises, that it does not even have an existence of its own.

Life is no different. We may start with meagre earnings, which may not even fulfil our basic needs. But, as we grow in our career or our business, we may go much beyond our needs and become greedy. It is at this stage, we become like the river flowing down the plains. We are overwhelmed by the greed and think that ,anything is not enough to fulfil our greed.

It is at this stage, we need to get a friend or family member ,to guide us and help us differentiate between needs and greed. If we are able to master ,this dilemma in our lives, we may become happier and more satisfied with what we have ,rather than aspiring ,for the ever eluding wealth in our lives.

Another good learning in life, is to compare with those, who have less than us. We are so privileged that we have a house to live in, good food to eat and family and friends to spend time with. But, there are millions of people around the world, who struggle to have ,two square meals a day.

The day we can distinguish between needs and greed, we may realise the meaning of contentment in life. Contentment is being happy ,with what you have rather than worrying about ,what you do not have. We always tend to compare ourselves with people, who have more than us rather than people, who do not.

I would not say ,it is wrong to aspire for more ,in life. How much more is good enough ,is the question ? Where is the threshold, which could make you happy ? If i have one car, I need two and if I have two, I would want a third and so on.

Happiness comes from within us. Gratitude and contentment, contribute immensely to happiness in life. When our needs are fulfilled in life and we think of supporting those, who have less than us, we become happier. Happiness is a state of mind and attitude to life.

The mantra to happiness in life is to fulfil our needs, understand the difference between needs and greed and be grateful for what we have rather than what we do not.

Let’s look within ourselves from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

23rd Dec 2024

We all strive to be life long learners in life. However, our ego comes in the way of our learning. We all make mistakes and probably learn from it. Some times we learn and at other times we do not. What comes in the way of our learning is our ego. Acceptance of our mistake is the first step in learning.

Many a time, we live in denial. We refuse to accept that we have made a mistake. This may be because, we are the eldest in the family and are feeling ashamed to accept it or may be, we are the boss at work and consider it below our prestige to accept our mistake.

Acceptance is the first step in the learning process. Once, we accept our mistake, we may be able to realise what went wrong and why ,and then learn from it. However, when we live in denial, acceptance itself becomes a challenge and then the question of learning does not arise.

If we notice children around us, we realise that they accept their mistakes ,faster than adults. They are not conditioned by the environment around them ,like us. They are ok to make mistakes, accept them, learn from them and move on.

But, as adults, we get very much conditioned by the environment around us. We are guided by the image, we want to project in the society ,around us. Our ego gets inflated ,as we grow from kids to adolescents and then adults. So ,even accepting a mistake we have committed ,becomes a daunting challenge for us.

Unless we are willing to accept a mistake, it may be very difficult to learn from it and not to repeat it, in our lives. What else could prevent us ,from taking this first basic step of acceptance. First, it could be ego, second it could be that we are not aware of our mistake and somebody needs to point it out ,to us.

While, at most times, we may be aware of the mistakes we do, there could be occasions, where we are not . But, this does not mean that we cannot seek feedback. It may be a good idea for us ,to seek guidance from people, more experienced than us.

We need to realise that we learn more from our mistakes, than our successes. In project management, it is always a practise ,to analyse a project after it is completed, to learn from the mistakes made, so that they are never repeated.

We need to do the same ,in life too. All of us are human and it is natural to make mistakes. What we need to learn is that ,accepting a mistake is the first step. Then ,we could understand the root cause and take preventive steps, so that we do not repeat the same mistake again.

As long as we consider life ,as a journey of continual learning, we may not hesitate to accept our mistakes. If we ever imagine that we have arrived in life, we may cease to learn. It is like a sportsperson. Even after winning an olympic gold medal, they are open to feedback and accept their mistakes and learn ,so that they can do better ,in the future.

Let us learn to accept from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

24th Dec 2024

 

 

We have seen people giving advice even without being asked. According to “Vidhurshastra”, one should give advise to an adult, only when asked. I would extend it to all age groups. Why give advice to anyone of any age, unless you are asked for it.

It may be easy to advise anyone, but following the advice in our lives, may be difficult. I would first delve into our roles ,in our own family or friend circles. Imagine giving advise to your spouse or kids ,without following the same.

A simple example could be advising our kids to go to school on time while we go late to office. Our children, when young, may not object to our advise but as they grow into adolescents ,they will lose respect for us, as parents.

The story with friends ,may not be very different. Imagine advising a friend to be thrifty, while you yourself ,are getting into a credit card debt trap and the same friend discovers it. Our credibility will be at stake.

The work situation too may be similar. As a senior in a team, we could take the liberty ,of giving unsolicited advice. A team leader ,could demand unreasonable results ,in a challenging environment. But the same team leader ,may give up in a similar situation ,when asked by her manager.

I would prefer to define leadership as ,leading by example. Whether at the home front, the societal situation or at the workplace, if we tend to practise first ,before we preach, we tend to build our credibility and will always be respected for it.

A commander in the Army ,always leads from the front. She or he will lead their battalion from the front and not ask their team members to fight the enemy first and lead from behind them. A senior pilot will take the first sortie to attack the enemy ,before sending his junior pilots to follow.

Life is no different. In every aspect of life, we are expected to give advice ,only when asked for. We will be revered ,only when we lead by example. A captain of a team in sports ,will go to face the most difficult situation ,first himself ,before sending his other team members ,to face the same.

The workplace is also no different. As leaders, we have to set an example for our teams to follow ,by our deeds and not by our words. A leader who preaches before practising the same ,in his own life ,will never be respected by his team.

Even at home, our children will seek advice from us ,when they see us practise what we are about to tell them. Our spouse also, expects us to follow ,before we advise them on anything.

Practising before preaching ,is like listening before speaking. If we listen before we speak, people will pay attention to us. On the other hand, speaking before listening ,is like preaching before practising.

Life is all about practising before preaching. Let us practise it from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

30th Sep 2024