The other day I was watching a TV sitcom, where the guest, who was being interviewed ,was a successful police officer. However, he attempted to clear the civil services exams, multiple times and failed. Even though, he failed multiple times, he never gave up ,in his mind and continued to strive for his dream ,to come true.

Many of us have laudable dreams and we work towards that goal. We strive hard and toil our way through , to achieve our dream. However, when there are multiple obstacles on our way or we fail a few times, we tend to give up and never realise our goal.

However, one can learn a good lesson from the sports persons. Recently,I was inspired by a tennis great, who retired after being a world champion for many years. He narrated of how he failed more than he succeeded in all the games, he played in life. Every failure taught him valuable lessons and enabled him to become a world champion.

When we see a star in sports or even films, we do not know how much they may have struggled to reach that stardom. We see their star status and feel that is easy for them. Their struggles, trials and tribulations get hidden behind their success today. There are innumerable stories of sports persons, movie stars and other celebrities, who have struggled their way through and lived through their failures, to succeed in life.

I am reminded of even an ex President of India. He was from a humble poor family and did not have enough resources ,to have two meals a day and even educate himself. However, he had a dream and vision for India. He overcame all these obstacles and rose to head the highest defence research body in India and later became the President of India and has also been conferred the highest civilian award in India.

All these people teach us a simple lessons in life. They tell us, through their life journeys, that “Failure does not determine life’s trajectory”. They have failed more than they have succeeded ,in their respective field but yet they have reached the peak of their respective domains.

I have learnt a few simple lessons from these wonderful people, which I would like to share for all of us to learn and adopt in our lives :

A. We need to have a dream and vision of what we want to achieve in life

B. We need to work zealously to achieve that goal, come what may, on our way.

C. Every failure teaches us valuable lessons in life, if we are willing to accept them ,as our steps to success.

D. We should never give up during our journey, despite of all failures, as they teach us relevant lessons and pave the way for our success in life.

E. The most successful people in life ,fail more than than they succeed but never give up until they achieve their mission in life.

Let our journey continue till we reach our goal.

S Ramesh Shankar

5th January 2025

One of the quotes, which guided me to develop as a leader was- “ People follow what you do and not what you say”. This I learnt ,way back in 1989, while attending a training session in a class room; but I believe it is valid even today.

I read another quote today morning, which said – “Most people know the walk, but do not walk that way”. We may be aware that people will follow what we do ,rather than what we say but still we continue to do things ,contrary to what we say.

Even as children, we always followed what our parents did more than what they said. As parents today, our children also follow what we do rather than what we say. Today’s children are smarter and if there is a gap between what we say and what we do, they observe and let us know easily.

The work place is no different. Leaders who walk the talk are more admired and followed. A leader, who always starts and end meetings on time, can see her team members on time, every time, for their meetings. It is conversely true too.

We sometimes imagine that the positions we hold in life like a father or mother in the family or a boss at the work place, can give us the leeway to behave differently ,from what we preach. This is not true and we get exposed ,before we even realise our mistakes in life.

Even on the sports field, a captain is followed as long as the captain behaves the way ,he wants his team to perform—Whether it is behaviour on or off the field or a particular skill or even the basics of maintaining a good physique.

Society also respects leaders who lead by example. Gandhiji has been revered across the world, over the last century ,primarily because, he practised before he preached. Even in areas, where he felt, he did not have the moral right to advise someone, he refrained from advising, till he could practise what he was about to preach.

There is a good example from Mahatma Gandhi’s life. Once, he was to advise a child to take less sugar but he refrained from giving this advise till the day he could himself control his urge to consume sugar in excess. Then, after getting over this weakness, he went ahead and advised the child.

So, in life, whether we are seniors in the family or at the work place or in the community, we need to learn to lead by example always. We need to practise before we preach. People will observe and follow ,what we do more than what we say always.

Our actions will always speak louder than our words. The best of leaders I have worked with ,never advised us ,in most situations. They showed through their actions and behaviour ,what is expected of us and we could observe and follow them.

Even parents at home do not advise us ,most of the times. They teach us through their actions ,what is good behaviour in every day life.

Let us learn to practise before we preach

S Ramesh Shankar

24th Dec 2024

I was recently watching a music reality show on TV. One of the judges of the show said – “ Advice givers are many, advice takers are few”. This is true. Our parents, teachers and elders have given us valuable advice right through our lives but most of us have hardly heeded to those in our lives.

This is the reality of life. We may have many people around us who are old and wise or young and wild, who give us valuable tips in life but we ignore them. However, when a young person is willing to take your advice and work on it, it could change their life.

In this very episode, a famous music director shared his life story and said that when he went for an audition of a music reality show, one of the guest judges had advised him to improve his pronunciation and diction in a particular language.

This young aspirant did exactly that and today he has grown into a successful music director and earned a command over that language, where he is in a position to guide others and improve their diction and pronunciation.

In life, we may get advice, left, right and centre from people all around us. It is upto us to take the advice and work on it. If we think, that advice would be helpful to us, we can convert a weakness into a strength by working on that advice.

Most of the times, we listen to advice and forget about it. It is like the feedback we get from people all around us. It could be our family, friends or even colleagues at our work place.

If we take the feedback seriously and the advice to its logical end, we may benefit more than we may lose. It is like a coach’s advise to a sportsperson. If the sports person takes the advice early in their life and act on it, it is possible that they become champions. On the other hand, with all the talent in hand, if we neglect advice, we cannot blame anyone else other than oneself.

Life is no different in reality. It is important to remember that advice may not necessarily come from elders or more experienced people in our lives. It could be the younger members in our team or our own kids. It all depends on our maturity to accept advice from our hearts and act on them. If we do, we improve and if we don’t, nobody else gains from it.

In life and work, we may not get advice all the time. If we ignore valuable advice, even our well wishers may stop giving advise it to us. Like the famous quote in the Mahabharata called “Vidhurshastra” – “ you never give advise to an adult, unless asked for “. This might become a reality for us if we do not take the advise given to us as kids or youth as people may refrain to give advise to us as adults.

None of us are perfect. So, we need to get advice every day of our lives from people, who are better than us. If we are willing to listen and learn, we gain and if we do not, we lose.

Let us evolve as “advise takers” from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

14th Dec 2024