“Change begins with me and ends with me” – this is my maxim and my learning from life.

I can look at change from any angle and I find that nothing changes unless we want to change. Nothing happens unless we lead the change. Let’s look at the family. As a parent, if we want change in behaviour of our children, we have to lead by example. There is no way our kids are going to ritually follow what we tell them. They will happily follow what you show them in your actions.

Let us reflect on self. First let us look at ourselves and our habits. Can change happen because someone gives us advise to change our habit ? Never. Imagine I am addicted to smoking. I am aware of the ills of smoking and its impact on my health. I have been advised by my family, friends and my doctor to give up. Will I do it based on their advise ? I may try and give up temporarily but it does not last forever. However, the day I decide enough is enough, my smoking becomes past tense.

If we look at ourselves as a leader. Is it any different ? I have not seen so. I may be the CEO of a company. I may want everyone to change. But will change happen if I don’t. I don’t think so. Let me illustrate this with a real life example. About a decade and a half ago, I was leading the HR team in a factory. The leadership team of the factory decided that they wanted to prohibit employees smoking inside the factory. They wanted all employees who smoked to go outside the factory gate in case they wanted to smoke. I was happy about it and supported the decision whole heartedly since it was in the best interest of employees. However, I had a request. I said I would like to first talk to CEO if he would go out side the gate too since he was used to smoking in his room. In case, he did not agree, I said, let us not prohibit other employees to smoke inside the factory. I told the CEO that if you do not lead by example, we cannot compel employees not to smoke inside the factory premises. The CEO agreed and our decision was a success in implementation. If the CEO had not agreed and we went ahead in prohibiting other employees from smoking, we could have enforced the decision by exercise of executive power but would have failed because of the lack of moral power.

Even in the public space, we see leaders who do not practise before they preach do not have any personal credibility. On the other hand, leaders who lead by example, are an inspiration for others to follow. It is not only easy to implement a decision but it is easier to communicate and enforce it if we set the tone ourselves.

Gandhiji said – “Be the change, you want to see in others”.

Let us begin today.

S Ramesh Shankar

What is India’s “Unique Selling Proposition” (USP) ? I have pondered over this question for years and have at last found my answer ? I was born in Trichy in Tamil Nadu and brought up in different parts of India. I started my schooling in Kolkota in East India, then further education in Jabalpur – Central India and finally collegiate education in Chennai – South India. I started my career in Bhilai – central India, then moved to Indore, Delhi, Chennai, Bangalore and now in Mumbai – Western India.

Having grown up all around India with each state speaking its own language and having its own tradition and culture – I have wondered what is that unique thing which binds us as a country. I think each state of India is more diverse in language, culture and living than many of the countries around the world. But there is something unique which is like a glue binding us together as a nation.

In my understanding, this binding glue is our emotional connect. We care for each other and are always there to support each other in a crisis. We live in families and communities and share festivals and festivities amongst us.

I always tell my foreign colleagues, when they come to India the first time that they may take at least a year to adapt to the Indian conditions. Our physical infrastructure is not the best in the world although we are improving every day. But after spending a year or two here, you will find it difficult to leave India because of the emotional infrastructure. Here , people care for you and connect with you. Whether it is your neighbour or a person on the road, one always feels cared for. You are never worried when in a crisis. It may not always be your relatives by your side but your friends and neighbours will always be there for you and support you in every possible way.

The warmth and hospitality of people in India has to be experienced to be believed. You always feels welcome and even strangers would be hosted, fed and taken care of if a need arises. This value of caring for others and living for each other rather than with each other is unique in our social system.

In my view, it is this “Emotional Infrastructure”, which is our USP. We not only should be proud of it but we need to preserve it. I am not sure there are not many countries in the world, which can match us in this emotional connect. One should also remember that money cannot buy emotional connect for you. Money can buy physical wealth and infrastructure only.

Sol, let us be proud of our “Emotional infrastructure”. Let’s us preserve it. Let us nurture it so that it grows and spreads all around the world. As an old Indian adage says – ” Vasudeva Kutambakam” ( Whole world is one family) should be our message to the world for peace and prosperity of all human beings.

S Ramesh Shankar

  
“Let go”
  I have often been asked as to why people do not grow up in spite of age. It is true for some of us and the reasons could be many. Let us first reflect in our personal lives. We are born, grow as kids and then mature as adults. We study, work, then get married and settle in life too. But, do we always behave like grown ups. May be not. We may justify our behaviour in the context in which it happens. For eg., when your child has to make a career choice, you impose your views on them. If you are an engineer, you tend to believe that there cannot be a better career choice more attractive than engineering for them. This means that if your child chooses anything other than engineering as a career, it may not be valued by you as a good decision. So, we tend to wane away the interests and passion of our own kids by imposing our views on them even in choosing their career.

   Now, if we move to the work place, we find that people start a career as an individual contributor. We work hard and exceed the expectations of our job. We are promoted as team leaders and are expected to lead the team. What do we end up doing ? We end up looking at what each individual is doing and how he is doing. We do not invest our time in creating an environment for everyone to excel in whatever is expected of them ? Why do we do that ? We do it because we feel that nobody on earth can do a better job than us as individual contributors and hence it is our right to review everyone’s performance and also tell them the ‘what’ and ‘how’ of doing their job.

    Then, we move to the next level, when we become leader of team leaders. Do we give up the job of the individual contributor. We don’t because we still do not trust our team leaders, who have enough experience and capabilities to lead their teams. We will get into micro details and also resolve intra team conflicts if needed.  

    Why does all the above happen ? This is what I would term as the “hang over effect”. We cannot give up something of the past, which we think we still are the master of. This happens because we are not willing to “let go” of something which we did well in the past and do not have the magnanimity of trusting our successors. It is time to reflect on this issue. Why not we give it a try ? Let us trust our children to take care of themselves ? May be they have grown up and know what is best for their careers !. Similarly, let us empower our teams and focus only on creating a conducive work environment. You may draw the value boundaries, which your team members should not cross. But kindly give them the freedom to innovate and excel in whatever they do and see the magic. You may be surprised that they may exceed your own expectations. I have experienced that my team members have always excelled when I have least interfered.

   If I get back to our personal lives, we may have become grand parents but we still would like to force our views on the choice of life partners for our grand kids even though they are grown up adults today. This is what we need to reflect on. Can we let them decide what they want to do in their lives and we contribute only when we are invited to do so ? As Manu niti says, give advice to an adult, only when asked for.

   So, it is time to look within us. “Let go” has to be the mantra at home and at work.

S Ramesh Shankar