Every one of us needs to realise the value of our parents, when they are alive. But, many of us realise their value more, when they are no more with us. I lost both my parents at a very young age. My mother at 23 and father at 25.

I have earlier written about my father and how he is my role model in life, even today. I have learnt patience and respect from him. I have seen him toil hard and become a self made man. He did not inherit anything from his parents and gave us the best of education and comforts, which he could afford.

Today, I want to write about mothers and how they contribute in our lives. My mother was an orphan child, who lost both her parents at a very tender age. She did not even remember her parents during her life.

She completed her schooling and got married off by her relatives to my father even before she could enter college. However, she was a very determined woman and stood like the pillar for the family. She brought up four children, ensured their education and most importantly disciplined us, to be good human beings.

A mother is the emotional bond between children and the family. She is the soul friend and guide for the children. A mother provides all the emotional support a child needs, right through their childhood. A father becomes more of the disciplinarian in the family, while the mother loves and cares for the kids.

In my case, my mother was a tough disciplinarian too. She taught us the rights and wrongs in life and also set the boundaries, which we should never cross.

In the past, mothers were often home makers and fathers went out to work and were the only earning member in most families. However, we need to realise that the home maker’s job is more than a full time job and one needs to experience parenthood, to understand their responsibilities as a mother or father.

Today, most women are working in full time roles and have to play the mother’s role, as double duties. They are working full time and at the same time taking care of their children and their spouses and elders in the family. I have seen my wife as well as my sister playing this double role, when they were working and being mothers, simultaneously.

We may not realise how much a mother contributes in our life, when we are children, growing up at home. Her services are unpaid and not valued till we leave home ,to stand up on our own feet. We miss the home cooked food ;we may miss the love and care and the emotional anchor, which the mother plays and we cannot find a substitute for that in life.

We need to be indebted to our parents, especially our mother right through our life. We need to realise that whatever success, we achieve in life, is because of our parents and teachers primarily.

If we forget our parents and teachers, after we have left home and are adults, standing on our feet, we are being ungrateful to them. Parents do not serve us, with any expectation of anything in return. But, our love and care for them, unconditionally, when they grow old, can be our invaluable gift for them.

Today, most parents plan their old age and can take care of themselves, emotionally and financially, as many of their offsprings move away from home, in pursuit of their career. However, if we fail as children to love and care for them ,as an expression of our gratitude for what they did during our upbringing, we are going to be losers, not they.

Let us learn to bow in gratitude to our parents always. I realise it more than anyone else in life ,since I lost both my parents before I could even settle in my career or life.

If your parents are alive, you are blessed and hence learn to serve them unconditionally.

S Ramesh Shankar

6th Jan 2025