I hear a lot of good things about people, when they die. I recently saw a movie, where a lady was suffering from a terminal illness and she arranged a funeral service for herself even before she died. When asked, why it was arranged, she said, she was keen to know good things about herself before she died.

I found this very insightful. I have always noticed people talking good about other people, after they die. When we attend a funeral or a prayer meeting after a person’s death, we suddenly realise how good the person was.

My question to everyone is – “Why do we not speak good about others, when they are alive ?” We find it difficult to appreciate our own family members or friends, leave alone people we work with or do not know. What prevents us from appreciating others, when we notice something good in them.

Imagine appreciating a bus conductor for her service or behaviour and the impact it can have on her future service. A young employee who is just starting her career in the organisation will be overwhelmed if we speak positively about something we observe ,during her first few days at work.

Generally ,mothers are more generous in appreciating their family members than other members. But imagine ,if talking good about each other ,becomes a culture in the family. It may be fine not to criticise someone, when something is not ok. But not to appreciate a good deed or a good act ,is surprising to me.

I remember ,my father never criticised my mother’s cooking at home. If the food was tasty, he would always appreciate it but if salt was missed, he will not even mention. This is a trait, which made my father adorable ,to all of us. Many of us specialise in critiquing others but fail to say good things, when people are around us.

We wait for someone to die ,to realise how good they were. Why does this phenomenon occur. I am not sure ,if it is a family trait or a societal curse. I am not even sure ,if our scriptures teach us ,not to appreciate people, when they are around. Everyone of us feel good, when we are appreciated in public and criticised in private. But in reality, we do it the other way around.

Is it possible for each of us today ,to start our life afresh. Let us plan and appreciate at least one person every day ,for a good trait we observe in them. It could be a family member, a colleague at work, a friend or even a security guard at work. It does not matter. All humans feel good in appreciation. Animals also love to be cared and appreciated. Then ,why not we practise amongst humans too and extend to all living beings ,in the future.

Let the journey of saying good things, when people are alive begin from today. Just call someone you like, appreciate what you like in them and make their day. It may work like magic. Try it to believe it.

S Ramesh Shankar

23rd Dec 2024