We have seen people giving advice even without being asked. According to “Vidhurshastra”, one should give advise to an adult, only when asked. I would extend it to all age groups. Why give advice to anyone of any age, unless you are asked for it.

It may be easy to advise anyone, but following the advice in our lives, may be difficult. I would first delve into our roles ,in our own family or friend circles. Imagine giving advise to your spouse or kids ,without following the same.

A simple example could be advising our kids to go to school on time while we go late to office. Our children, when young, may not object to our advise but as they grow into adolescents ,they will lose respect for us, as parents.

The story with friends ,may not be very different. Imagine advising a friend to be thrifty, while you yourself ,are getting into a credit card debt trap and the same friend discovers it. Our credibility will be at stake.

The work situation too may be similar. As a senior in a team, we could take the liberty ,of giving unsolicited advice. A team leader ,could demand unreasonable results ,in a challenging environment. But the same team leader ,may give up in a similar situation ,when asked by her manager.

I would prefer to define leadership as ,leading by example. Whether at the home front, the societal situation or at the workplace, if we tend to practise first ,before we preach, we tend to build our credibility and will always be respected for it.

A commander in the Army ,always leads from the front. She or he will lead their battalion from the front and not ask their team members to fight the enemy first and lead from behind them. A senior pilot will take the first sortie to attack the enemy ,before sending his junior pilots to follow.

Life is no different. In every aspect of life, we are expected to give advice ,only when asked for. We will be revered ,only when we lead by example. A captain of a team in sports ,will go to face the most difficult situation ,first himself ,before sending his other team members ,to face the same.

The workplace is also no different. As leaders, we have to set an example for our teams to follow ,by our deeds and not by our words. A leader who preaches before practising the same ,in his own life ,will never be respected by his team.

Even at home, our children will seek advice from us ,when they see us practise what we are about to tell them. Our spouse also, expects us to follow ,before we advise them on anything.

Practising before preaching ,is like listening before speaking. If we listen before we speak, people will pay attention to us. On the other hand, speaking before listening ,is like preaching before practising.

Life is all about practising before preaching. Let us practise it from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

30th Sep 2024