The other day I was in an old age home. Nowadays, they call them “assisted living places”, because when children are not there to assist their parents, they have to find places, where they could be assisted by others.

At a time, when the world has become the market place, I am not against assisted homes and assisted living ,as many times parents do not want to live in alien countries and at other times ,children do not have the space or resources, to have parents or elders with them.

Recently, I visited a friend’s mother. She seemed very happy with her stay. She was happy with the clean environment, hygienic food, a lot of activities and festivals being celebrated for all religions ,along with the cohabitants.

These homes are professionally managed and take care of the elderly very well. I went around the place and found out that it was well designed and every detail ,was taken into account. Apart from lifts, dining halls, entertainment rooms, guest rooms, there was accessible wash rooms with supportive arm rests, wash basins, a well furnished kitchen and doctors and nurses on call.

My friend’s mother seemed very happy and even advised us ,to visit all the floors, to see and experience the facilities for ourselves. We went around all the floors and it was indeed impressive.

But, when we left her flat, she told us that everything was good except when recently some of her neighbours fell sick, they were rushed to the hospital by the staff but when they died ,their bodies were donated to medical colleges for research. When we enquired, if they did not have any kids or relatives, she hesitatingly said ,that nobody visited them when they fell sick and hence the elderly, had given prior consent for their bodies ,to be donated to medical colleges.

My eyes were moist and I could not believe ,what I just heard. Life has become such. We do not have time to visit the elders in our family – it could be parents, grandparents, uncles or aunts. Today, we may not be living in the same city or country and hence they are forced to live in assisted living. But, imagine not visiting your parents when they are sick and not even being there ,to do their final rites when they die.

Although, I was aghast at what I came to know today, I was not totally taken aback. In every aspect of our lives, we do not have time to do the basic things in life. We do not have time to take care of our own health. then how on earth ,can we take care of others’ health.

In the past, if anyone in our neighbourhood fell sick, every neighbour, friend and relative would visit them and take care of them. Today, we are not even aware of ,who our neighbours are ! How can one expect anyone to take care of us, when we do not bother about others ?

We may need to look ,deep within. We need to realise that we will not remain young and youthful ,for the rest of our lives. The day we get old, our children may do the same ,of what we are doing to our elders. May be our kids could be more alienated, than we are.

It may be time ,to set the clock back and reset our lives.

S Ramesh Shankar

21st April 2024