A question often asked by youngsters is as to “ Where to draw the line between confidence and intimidation ?”. Where does confidence end and intimidation begin. Some people think that I am intimidating although I am just confident of what I am saying or doing.

We need to realise, that just like our fundamental rights in our constitution, everything comes with a rider. A fundamental right of speech does not mean that I can stand on top of a hill and abuse all the people around me, in a park.

Similarly, when we speak or do something in life, we have to exude confidence. This confidence comes from our practise. But, this does not mean that we do it in such a way ,that it makes people around us feel uncomfortable.

It is like a sportsperson playing with confidence. If a bowler ,bowls with confidence, her ball should do the talking and not her mouth. When the mouth does the talking it is called intimidation and when the ball does the talking and she takes a lot of wickets, it is called confidence.

In a group discussion, if a participant actively listens to others and speaks only when he has to make a point, it is called confidence. When the speaker speaks even when others are speaking ,just to dominate the discussion, it is called intimidation.

Everyone says that we know the difference between confidence and intimidation ,but how do we remember, in reality. This is also very simple. If we go to the gym everyday, we know ,when to start and when to stop. The day we cross our limits, we may either sprain ourselves or injure our ligaments.

Similarly, in life, we know when we intimidate others and when we are dealing with confidence. If we have a doubt in our minds, the simplest technique ,is to ask the people around us. It could be our family members or friends or colleagues. They can easily spot the difference and guide us.

If you drive a car with confidence, you end up safely to your destination. If you intimidate others while driving, to show off your style , there is a good possibility that you could meet with an accident or injure others on the way.

Life teaches us everyday ,in every way. We refuse to listen to our inner voice or the voice of others, around us. The day we listen, we change. If people around us love us, we are confident, if they hate our presence, we are intimidating.

The line between the two ,may be thin sometimes but we need to learn from the mistakes we do. If we cannot learn by ourselves, we can learn from others around us.

Let us exude confidence from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

4th April 2024