One of the biggest challenges in the world today is to take care of old and bed ridden family members. With many children moving out of their native countries for better career opportunities, the old and ailing members of the family are left alone to take care of themselves.

I have witnessed spouses taking care of one another without taking help from any professional agency. I salute the family members, who serve the elderly selflessly, as they realise that some day they could be old too and someone will take care of them.

However, when I recently attended a webinar on “elder care” I realised that taking care of the “care-giver” is possibly more important in society than even the person being taken care of. Imagine a dementia patient at home being taken care by a family member. The care giver may be providing selfless service in the true spirit of humanity.

But I realised after attending this webinar that the stress and strain, which a care giver goes through is possibly as much if not more than the person in distress. This tells us that we possibly do not realise the adverse impact of the patient on the care giver. We need to care for the care giver as much as he or she cares for the person in distress.

Let us examine this with a simple case. A senior citizen in a home is suffering from demnitia. The wife of the person is taking care of him day in and night out with the support of house helpers. The spouse is all alone as the kids have already left the nest for better pastures in life. So, apart from taking care of the dementia of her husband, she is managing the home affairs on a day to day basis and also bearing the stress of the reactions of the patient and its consequences. This could lead to physical and psychological stress on the spouse.

We may not realise this stress unless we experience it. A person from outside the family may be empathetic to the patient but may not realise the stress and strain the care giver is undergoing in taking care of the patient. Sometimes the impact could be irreversible and long lasting. Hence, it is important to take care of the care giver as much if not more than the patient.

Let us understand the stress the care giver goes through while taking care of a patient. They are physically and mentally exhausted. Sometimes, they may be skipping their meals to be around the patient and take care of them. This could lead to physical and mental health issues.

The psychological impact the patient may have on the care giver is also unimaginable. They may absorb all the stress of the patient onto themselves. This could lead to physical or psychological disorders, which may be visible or may be latent. It may explode at a later date if not take care of.

Thus, I realise the care for the “Care giver” is as important as the care for the patient. Let us all strive to enable the care givers to be supported as much as the people in our family or friends circle in distress and needing help and support.

Let us care for the “Care giver”.

S Ramesh Shankar

1st May 2023