We play different roles in our personal and professional lives. At home, we play the roles of parents, children, siblings , cousins or relatives. At the workplace, we are employee, manager, colleague, customer or supplier in different roles.

We inherit some roles while others are imposed on us by virtue of position or time. Either way, our roles keep changing over time. Let us examine the roles we play in our personal lives and how it changes over time.

We are born as children in a family and then become siblings when we have brothers or sisters. We then get married and have spouse and also have our own children thereafter. As we become parents, we become mother or father and so the chain continues.

Similarly, we join an organisation as an employee and then become a colleague, boss, supplier or customer to another function. Each of these roles are by virtue of the position we hold or by virtue of time and changes which happen over time due to promotions, transfer, attrition etc.

Let us first try to understand how role conflicts occur in our personal lives. We as children , want all the freedom in our lives. But as we grow up and become senior members in the family , we want to boss over our younger siblings and tell them that freedom needs to be earned.

Then , as we grow as adolescents, we defy the control of our parents. When we become parents after getting married, we feel bad when our children defy our diktats.

We tend to rediscover our roles when role changes happen and we experience what we saw in others. What we thought was wrong becomes right for us and vice versa. Welcome to this new world of family.

The role conflicts in the organisation are no different. As an employee, many a time ,we feel that our bosses are peeking over our shoulders all the time and do not allow us to breathe. When we become bosses, we tend to do the same and realise why bosses always kept an eye on us. As supplier departments ,we feel the pressure of our customers and when the role reverses ,we fail to be empathetic to our suppliers.

Life is a full circle. We get back ,what we give others. We realise the value of different roles only when we experience them. Otherwise, we tend to believe that other role holders are there to disturb our life and living, and enjoy themselves.

Even in the public sphere, roles keep changing and reversing. Let us imagine a prime minister becoming a leader of the opposition and the reverse happening. As a leader of the opposition, we tend oppose everything irrespective of merit. But as Prime Minister, we want the opposition leader to support us , in all our initiatives.

Role conflicts are a part of our lives. We need to learn to experience roles and empathise with other roles to minimise such conflicts. The day we realise that our roles are transitory, we may evolve and grow as human beings. What goes around, comes around.

Let us learn to play roles and respect other roles to minimise role-conflicts in life. Our tomorrow could have been somebody’s yesterday and someone else’s today.

S Ramesh Shankar

15th February 2023