In my long corporate career, one question I have not yet found an answer to is when people ask me – “Do you need to continue to be good to people, even if they take your goodness for granted “. Honestly, I have not yet found the response but I would still take the risk of saying – please continue to be good to people since if they do not reciprocate it is their problem, not yours.

I recall once a CEO told me that he was very kind and affectionate to his staff. However, he finds that his driver and some other staff take him for granted. He noticed that both his predecessor and successor did not treat their staff with respect but they were never taken for granted. This may be true in many instances in life – both within family circles, with friends and in society at large. But I would still recommend, let us be good to others the way we want others to be good to us.

I should confess that I cannot claim that I have the virtues of Mahatma Gandhi, who could forgive even his worst enemies. Gandhi believed forgiveness is Godliness. I am less human than Gandhi but I can profess that being good to others ultimately brings you good things in life.

I can share at least two real life experiences, which have reinforced my belief that being good to others irrespective of their being not considerate to you, could be difficult but worth trying. I recall once one of my senior colleagues did something unpardonable to me. I was hurt and distraught but realised that I had done no wrong. So I decided to forgive him and move on in my career and continued to be good to him. He faced one of the most difficult situations in his personal life after this incident. God has his own way of dealing with people who treat you unfairly. This senior came back to me after this incident and sought my help for some issue to which I responded positively.

In the second instance, another senior colleague almost misbehaved with me for no fault of mine in front of my boss. I was deeply hurt but decided to forget the incident and move on in life and my career. This person met with a serious road accident and was bed ridden for almost a year. So God finds his own way to give feedback to people, who treat others with disdain. Inspite of the unpardonable behaviour of my senior colleague, I called the person concerned and enquired about his health.

Incidences like these may happen both in personal and professional life. We all feel hurt and annoyed as well and it is human to feel that way. However, if we are honest and believe we had not made any mistake, we need to learn to forgive such indecent human beings and move on in life. God takes care of them in his own way and teaches them life lessons.

Our ability to believe in ourselves and being honest to ourself and people around us is important. This gives us the moral courage and authority to move on and forgive the unforgivable. Some things in life are challenging although can be dealt with in a human way. Our ability to forgive and forget helps us get back on track.

One of the best quotes I have heard is -“To err is human, to forgive divine”.

Lets keep trying

S Ramesh Shankar