Tag: #respect

Guru

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“Guru” is the Sanskrit term for teacher.  All of us have great respect for teachers and have multiple experiences where teachers have displayed their selfless behaviour in abundance.  I met a teacher cum principal about two decades back and she transformed the image of teachers in my mind.  I was working at Indore in a private organisation and was transferred to Delhi.  As all parents do, I went from one school to another seeking admission for my kids after I arrived in Delhi.

The Delhi school conducted an admission test for my kids and after a series of interviews admitted both my children.  In this process, I was interviewed along with my wife as parents before the admission process was finalised.  However, the real virtues of a teacher was experienced by me when my child turned truant. One day I was called by the principal stating that my child was regularly bunking classes and getting into the swimming pool or to the playground during school hours.

I reached the school along with my wife.  I was told about the misconducts of my child.  I immediately apologised to the principal on behalf of my child and told her to take appropriate action as deemed fit.  I told her that I was fine even if my child was suspended for a few day, as he had defaulted multiple times even after being counselled by his teachers.  The principal’s reply was my biggest lesson in life.

She told me that she need not seek my permission to suspend my child.  That was the easiest decision for her and I was not summoned to take that decision.  She told us, that as parents we had a duty to partner with the teacher to reform our child.  She did not want to suspend but counsel the child in our presence and we ( teachers and parents) work together to help the child correct his behaviour.

There was another occasion when I was transferred from Delhi to Chennai.  My daughter was in the final year of school.  I was worried because when my father was transferred in my final year of school, years ago, my academic performance was impacted due to this transfer.  I did not want the same thing to happen to my daughter.  When I went to the school to enquire about this issue and seek the advise of the same principal, she immediately advised me to leave my daughter in her custody to complete her school education.

I had not known the principal and was stunned by this response.  She calmly said that she had two kids and was staying within the school premises.  It was easy for my daughter to stay with her and complete her final year of schooling.  This advise was not only selfless but unbelievable from someone whom you did not even know well .  The rest is history.  My daughter indeed stayed with her and did well in her academics and today is a successful carreerist in a public sector undertaking.

Subsequently, I have met a few other teachers and each time I have been impressed by their nobleness.  They always think in the best interests of the child.  They are unbiased and highly patient.  They want parents as partners to the progress of the child.  They treat every child as if they were their own. They are always willing to give to each and every child equal space and love. They never expect anything in return.

As in the photo above, this principal( in the white saree) is not only a life long family friend today but also a role model for all teachers in society. I salute her.

My salutations to all teachers today on the occasion of Guru Purnima.

S Ramesh Shankar

Selflessness


All of us have met people in our life, who always live for others.  We may call them “Selfless” people.  I have also met many people in my life this way.  One of them is my eldest sister.  Born as the eldest member in my family, she was born as a premature child.  My parents were not sure if she will survive and grow as a healthy child.  But, since she was the first kid for our parents, they took extra care and nourished her to grow as a child.

Later, she grew up as a scholastic child and did very well in her academics.  Even, as a child, she inherited my father’s patience and the seflessness of my mother.  I have always admired her selfless nature.  Even as the eldest among four siblings in our home, she would care for us more than herself.  She would finish her home work even before we got up and helped all of us do our work.

 I sometimes wonder what motivates these selfless people.  Is it their ability to serve others, which is the real drive in their life ?  They never think of themselves from morning to night.  It looks as if they are born for serving others.  They get up thinking what I can do for others.  I have silently admired my sister all through her life. I regret that I have never really told her how much I admire this nature of hers.Today as I write this blog, I hope I am able to make up for my life’s regret.  I am sure that it is difficult for any of us to be like them in our real lives.  Even, if we pretend to be like them, we cannot ape them.  But, we definitely can observe them and learn from them.  We can try in our way to serve others in whatever little ways we can.  It can even be like serving your own family or friends.

In my book, selflessness is like Godliness.  One need not visit a temple, mosque, church or monastery to seek God’s blessings.  It is these small deeds of service, which can take us closer to God.  No religion in the world compels us to visit a religious place.  All relgions encourage us to serve mankind.  We need to find opportunities to serve others.  

Many of us claim we do not find opportunities to serve others.  We need not look for them.  They knock at your doors every day or may be every hour in your life.  It is our ability to sense them and make use of them.  If we do not have the ability to sense them, we could learn from people around us.  I am privileged to have a sister in my family.  So, we may have them in our family or friends circle.  It is our ability to spot them, admire them and learn from them.

Life is full of opportunities.  Most of us look outside our spheres of life for the eternal truth.  The truth lies within us.  Similarly, life lessons can be learnt from your family members, friends and even colleagues at work.  We seek Gurus in life to learn life lessons.  It is time to realize that our near and dear ones can be our gurus.  We need not look outside for them but even a glimpse within our sphere can help us spot them.

Let us refresh our lives today and start today with a small service to anyone in our life, without expecting anything in return.  This act of kindness will give us joy, which money can never buy.

S Ramesh Shankar

Role Reversal


As we grow up as kids, we all are in awe of our parents.  We adore them and think they are everything to us.  We respect them, serve them and even role model their behaviour in our everyday life.  They become the standard for most things we do in life.  We consult them and seek their advice in any dilemma or major decisions in life.  This continues till the day we stand on our own feet.  

As we become independent, we start believing that the world is in our control.  We may not disrespect them but tend to take decisions on our own.  Our parents are proud of our independent nature and they let go their control over us.  We gain confidence and lead our own lives in our own way.

We get married and our spouse enters our lives.  She/He contributes equally to our well being and participates in all our decision making processes.  Some of us continue to seek advice from our parents even at this stage as we respect their acumen.  Then we bear kids and many a time move away from our homes in view of career compulsions.  This not only makes us physically away from our parents but also tends to emotionally distance us.

Our parents continue to believe that we are connected with them emotionally and we will take care of them for the rest of their lives.  But suddenly, the pressures of work , family commitments and the demands of our careers takes us farther away from them.  They are left lonely at home and mostly to fend for themselves.  Many a time , as children, we do not have the time or the intent even to visit them leave alone take care of  all their needs.

Suddenly, our parents feel the vacuum in their lives.  They feel helpless and not taken care of.  They do not look upon us for our monetary support.  They are more interested in our emotional support.  We think we have done our duty by sending some money every month or by providing a lot of material support for their physical convenience.  We do not realize that at this stage of their life, they look for emotional well being rather than material comforts.

I have always wondered why this change as the roles reverse in our lives.  Why do we not realize that this is a cycle of life and one day we will be in their position too.  What happens to all their contributions to our success in life ? Why do we become less grateful to them ? Why does selfish interest make us forget to be grateful to our parents, who have made us what we are today ?

May be I do not have the answers but I do have many questions.  May be I can be different now and in the future.  What can make us realize that this is the core of the Indian culture.  How can we sustain and preserve it for our future generations ? Can I commit to be different and be a role model for my children and grand children to follow ?

Even today, there are many good people, who take care of their parents( like my aunt in the picture above taken care by her son and daughter in law) and I salute them.

S Ramesh Shankar