Tag: joy

Joy of little things 

All of us enjoy little things in life.  It is these small things in life, which gives us joy.   The source of joy is personal to each of us.  Some of us feel nice getting up at dawn and feeling the pure air and fragrance of nature.  For others, your best time may be at midnight when the world sleeps but you are at peace with yourself.  Each of us have our own likes and dislikes.  It is up to us to discover the little things in life, which gives us joy .  We then need to find time to enjoy those little things, which gives us happiness.

Let me start with myself.  I love going on long drives with my family and friends.  I do not miss a single occasion, when I can make it.  I have sometimes even started a journey without deciding on my destination.  It gives me joy to enjoy the journey rather than worry about the destination.

Similarly, my wife likes to garden.  She likes to look at each flower and plant and enjoy the smell and taste of nature.  She can spend hours together in the garden.  The tranquility of nature gives her joy.  She is a poet and hence nature may be giving her inspiration to write creatively. She can spend hours admiring the lily in our garden as in the picture above and even write a poem on it.

My daughter is a voracious reader and writer.  She loves to admire everything around her and can express in words, which can capture your imagination.  She can write about simple things in life and make your feel special by reading her prose.  Expressing herself in words is her passion and this gives her joy.

My son loves to make other people happy.  He loves to laugh at himself and others and always create a lively atmosphere wherever he is.  It does not matter if it is a family group or a work group, the joy of enjoying the moment gives him more joy.   He can enliven the most serious atmosphere with his presence and his laughter.

There are some, who enjoy the silence of nature.  While others may feel comfortable in the chaos of the urban landscape.  Each of us finds joy in something in life.  Many a time we are not sure what gives us joy.  As we discover the sources of joy, we tend to re-invent ourselves.

I believe each of us is unique.  We have our own way of finding joy around us.  We neither should ape others nor be worried about what others think of our likes and dislikes.  It is up to us to decide on what gives us happiness in life. It is then our prerogative to pursue it relentlessly without worrying about the world around us.  We have to only ensure that what gives us joy is not a source of sadness for others in life.

It is time to discover our own little things, which gives us joy in life and enjoy it.

S Ramesh Shankar

True test of Partnership


Marriage is a noble institution. It brings two individuals to share the joy and sorrows of life together. In the ancient tradition, our parents looked at boys or girls for their kids and arranged the marriage. There was a lot of investment in horoscopes and astrologers to make matches between families.
In today’s era, most of the youngsters choose their own partners either in college or later in their work life. They spend enough time to know one another and then decide to tie the knot. Religion, caste, creed etc. which were the main criteria for marriages in the bygone era has given way today to mutual interests by the younger generation. It is compatibility, which is the sole criterion for the decision.  
I sometimes have wondered as to why some marriages work and others don’t. This question in my mind has shattered all hypotheses for successful marriages which experts have enunciated. I have seen successful marriages amongst arranged ones as well as love marriages. I have witnessed people from the same state, religion, caste and creed not getting along and on the other hand people as diverse as Kashmir and Kanyakumari have evolved as great partners in life.
If if look back at my marriage, which is 32 years young this year, I can possibly summarise some of my learnings of how to make a marriage work :
1. Adapt to each other’s strengths and weaknesses : If we can build on each other’s strengths rather than weaknesses, it helps.

2. Support your partner in a crisis : All of us go through our crests and troughs in a relationship. The true test of partnership in life is not tested when everything is hunky dory. It is when you are going through a low phase of life. Your partner can be a good listener, a silent supporter and a person who can help you bounce back.

3. Gratitude : I realise that many a time we forget all the good things God has bestowed on us when we go through a tough period. We curse the Almighty for giving us all the sorrow. It is not easy to reflect on this especially when you are at the receiving end. It is at this stage one of the partners can help the other to be grateful for all that they have in life . 

4. Resolving Conflicts: When we go through conflicts in life, many a time we find a escape route. Running away from a problem does not solve it. Our true test of character is when we face issues head on and are willing to give-in and create win win solutions.

5. Forgiveness & Ego : Most of the time I have noticed that our ego plays spoilsport. Each of us wants the other to take the lead and we are not willing to forgive, forget and move on. We tend to blame each other rather than enable the other. It is our ability to forgive, which raises our stature and bonds our relationship. 
I met my partner in college and we decided to marry each other. Our families were not readily supportive of our idea. But it is our resolve, trust in each other and honesty, which helped us convince our families. Since then, we have also seen a lot of ups and downs. It has been the support of each other, which has made our partnership work. We have had great times together, we have fought with each other and even not talked to each other for days but never given up. One of us took the lead to give in and listen to the other. This has been the foundation of our partnership.
If I may summarise, I would say it is unconditional love, trust and our ability to be there for one another, which makes partnerships work. We need each other’s support, when we face a crisis rather than good times only. I am sure each of us can find a way if we are willing to work together always.
S Ramesh Shankar