Category: Uncategorized

Grass is greener on the other side always

Many of us would have heard this saying that the grass is always greener on the side of the shore.  It looks true in life too.The poorest man in the world aspires to the be richest. While the richest man wants to the be the happiest person and so on.  None of us seem to be happy with what we have with us.  We always want what others have and we don’t.


Have we ever asked ourselves as to why this happens to most of us in life ?  Is it because of the way we are brought up in life ?  Is it because of our education system, which makes us competitive ?   Is it because we assume that status in life is determined by more wealth than others ?  I really do not know the answer.  But, the truth is that all of us go through this in our lives.

Let us start from our childhood.  We look at other children and always complain that they have better books, better clothes, better sports goods and so on.  We also have aspired for things we did not have.  Then if we move to college life, life has not been different.  The only difference is that our needs transform into greed.  We want a bike, an expensive mobile phone and a car since our college mates have it.  It really does not matter to us whether we need them or  if our parents can afford them.  Some of us have blackmailed our parents to get what we want by linking it to exam results and so on.

Now, let us move to our work life.  Many of us are not happy with our work, our boss and the the company culture and so on.   We end up changing our job or role or location.   It’s interesting that many of us have realised that when we move to the other side , it makes us realize that life was greener at our original end.

It needs a lot of guts to change.  It requires courage to challenge the status quo.  Some of us take the plunge and when we land at the other side, life looks no different – or may be it does look different for some of us.  But, as time passes, there are other shores, which again look greener to us.

So, this journey is elusive.  The destination is not definable.  Does this mean we should not dream of greener pastures ?  Of course, we should.  All of us need to aspire for betterment in life and living.  We should look and get inspired by people around us, who are our role models. But, we need to work hard to realize our dreams  and accomplish greener pastures.

The only lesson I have learnt is that in the process of aspiring for more and admiring greener pastures on the other side, we fail to enjoy the present.  We need to enjoy the journey as much as the destination.  If you can recall the last time, you travelled by train, you will remember that admiring the green rice fields, the tea garden on th hill slopes, the passing mountains and the vastness of the river along side the train tracks were as much admirable as the beauty of our destination.

“Contentment” is the art of being happy with what we have.  Easier to state than to live.  But, may be worth a try.  If we can be happy with what we have, we may get what we want in life.  Let us the enjoy the greenery in our existing life before we look at the other shores.

Admire and enjoy  your journey as much as your destination.

S Ramesh Shankar

Theory versus Practice


All theory evolves from practise and vice versa.  If Isaac Newton had not sat under the apple tree, the theory of gravity may not have been discovered by him.  Hence, it is quite clear that theory is enunciated based on practical experiments or experiences and the other way around.

However, what is amusing in life is that many of us become very strong on theory and find it difficult to practise.  For eg. I have met people who can give an excellent lecture on “Gandhism” and write outstanding articles explaining Gandhi’s thoughts and how they could be practised in life.  However, they find it difficult to live a Gandhian life themselves.  This dichotomy leads to lack of personal credibility.

In the organisation context, if I preach on how critical it is for all of us to be customer oriented but I do not have time even to meet my customers, it is a case of double speak.  This, in my view is the gap between theory and practise.  Today’s generation is not very keen to listen to your wisdom based on your experience.  They are more keen to follow your actions everyday at home and at work.  It may be great for me to give a lecture on how the camel is the best animal to trek on a desert.  Nobody will agree with me till I can demonstrate that I can do it in the desert heat and balance my way as the camel trudges along the desert.

The situation is not very different at home.  Your children may listen to your pep talks till they grow into adolescents.  But, as they grow further, they would prefer to follow what you do.  You may be an expert on how consumption of tobacco is harmful to human beings and may have published research papers on the subject.  But, if they see you smoking, they are more likely to get hooked to smoking rather than to spread the harmful effects of tobacco.

If we see this phenomenon at home and in the organisation, the situation is similar in communities and society at large.  No public icon – whether in politics, sports or cinema is admired for what they say on television.  Youngsters today follow them in their daily lives even through social media and decide to follow them only when they are convinced that their leader practises what he preaches.

So, all in all our personal credibility is built on our ability to bridge the gap between theory and practise.  If I have to summarise, it is better to practise before you preach.  Or preach only what you practise in your daily life.  It is applicable as a parent at home, as a leader at work or an icon in society.

Time to start practising before preaching is today !

S Ramesh Shankar

Sea Change


We watch people around us every day.  Most people grow from childhood to adulthood and their behaviour and actions are quite predictable.  We form our own opinion about them based on their behaviours and generally it is quite as expected.  But, sometimes people change and this change is unbelievable.  We sometimes feel that even animals are more predictable than human beings. I would like to share some examples from my life to illustrate this better.

We had a driver in Bangalore.  He was very sincere and committed to work.  He was a bachelor and was quite self disciplined.  I even enabled him to buy a motorcycle by helping him with a vehicle loan from a bank.  He continued to work well .  He was an occasional smoker and may be had an occasional drink too.  But, all of a sudden he changed.  He went home for a vacation and when he returned, he turned to alchohol and his behaviour turned from bad to worse.  He started absenting frequently and became less disciplined at work.  I moved to another location and hence he started working with someone else.  But, after he moved away from me he stopped repaying the auto loan and his life became quite a mess.  I could not believe such a young and committed boy transforming himself in such a dramatic way.

We had a servant cum cook at home.  She was very honest and hard working.  She had a smiling face and was punctual and dedicated to her work.  She supported my wife almost on everything in my house.  She was married and her husband worked as a Gardner in our own campus. Both their children studied well and we were happy to support them in their education.  But, suddenly one day when my wife and me had gone on a vacation, she ended up stealing some ornaments and when confronted denied doing so.  Further, she deserted her husband and eloped with someone else and this again was unbelievable.  By the grace of God, her husband continued to be honest and dedicated and she returned to him after her paramour ditched her after some months.  

In the third instance, we had a colleague who was quite close to us.  Our families were close friends and we visited each other almost every weekend.  All of a sudden he stopped talking to us .  He avoided us and would not visit us on weekends.  He had advised his wife and daughter not to talk to us or visit us.  We found it strange since there was no conflict between us nor any misunderstanding.  I tried to talk to him to sort out any wrong notions but he ignored all my efforts in this direction.  It was unbelievable but true.  It took years for him to realize that there was nothing wrong between us and today he has started talking to us again after almost a decade.

So, life is unpredictable and sometimes people around you go through a sea change.  Many a time, you can never understand why this happens.  It is very difficult to accept it as a reality.  All your efforts to get to the root cause gives you no clue.  You then leave it to time to heal itself.  Sometimes it works and at other times it does not.  But, it is intriguing and unpredictable.

This is life and we have to take it as it comes.

S Ramesh Shankar