Most of us tend to speak ,more than we listen. Although, God has given us two ears and one mouth, we listen probably half as much ,as we speak and not the other way around.

The most important thing to remember is that, the way we speak is more important than even, what we speak. I am not for one saying ,that we can speak non sense and get away with it. Here, I am assuming that most of us will speak sense ,most of the time.

But, let us examine why it is important to remember ,that the way we speak is even more important than what we speak. Let us start from the family itself. Most kids will be happy to listen to their mothers rather than their fathers. The reason for this is that ,most mothers will find the most appropriate way to discipline a child or give a feedback. Most fathers are abrupt and many a time lose their cool ,even before they give their feedback.

I should confess that we cannot and should not generalise on these things. I could be completely wrong, as some fathers are much more patient than the mothers. But, the majority may fall in the category of impatient fathers and patient mothers.

So, when a mother gives feedback to the child, the child listens and is willing to change. The reason is ,not that the feedback of the father ,was untruthful. Rather, it was because the way the mother spoke to the child and gave feedback at the right place and right time, made all the difference.

If we extend this to the organisation, the scenario is not very different. Some managers are liked by employees, while others are not. In most situations, the hard skills are similar but the soft skills of the managers are different. For example, when a manager gives feedback to an employee in private and in a congenial environment, the employee listens and is likely to improve. On the other hand, a very accurate feedback given by a manager in public and in a rude tone ,will never be accepted and acted upon ,by most employees.

Gandhiji’s famous quote states – “ The means to an end is as important as the end itself”. This is equally applicable in this context. The way we speak is as important as what we speak. We may sometimes wonder why some people are admired and actively listened to ,while others are not. The reason, mostly may lie on the way ,they deal with people rather than what they deal with.

Even a captain in a sports field is respected for the way they treat their team members and how they give feedback. The content of feedback between two captains ,may not be very different. But, one who takes care of the process of feedback is respected more than the one, who does not.

We all experience the way we are treated by others. We feel good when others treat us with respect and dignity. We feel good when language used is decent and appreciation is always done in public but criticism in private and not the other way around.

Let us learn to focus on the way we speak ,as much as what we speak from today.

S Ramesh Shankar

19th Jan 2025

I have lived and worked in different cities and towns across India. Each city or town has taught me a lot of life lessons. However, the maximum learning as a working professional I got from the city of Mumbai.

Mumbai never sleeps, literally. You can walk at dawn or at midnight and the city is buzzing with some activity or the other. What I really admire about this wonderful city is that – “Rain or sun, life goes on” .

I would like to share some of my key learnings ,from this maximum city. I have seen every one ,working hard for their living. Irrespective of being a driver or a house help, they are always on time and have no excuses to offer. My security guard in my apartment ,travelled at least 50 kms every day ,one way ,in train/bus and walk ,but was never late for his duty.

My house help supported us right through the year. She would turn up at the peak of summer or even during heavy monsoon ,on time ,every time. Even, when we would advise her not to come, she would turn up. This made us admire ,her professional ethics.

This experience is applicable, to every walk of life. If I booked a cab and wanted to catch an early morning flight, I would tell the cab to come at 3:45 am. He would turn up at 3:30 am and sometimes may even wake me up from bed if ,I miss my alarm.

At the work place, I have seen my colleagues ,travel from long distances taking trains and buses and never late for meetings or appointments. It is this work ethic , which makes this city instill that discipline ,in your blood.

I may even say that an electrician or a plumber ,would turn up for their appointment ,on the said date and time ,without fail. They would never find an excuse to postpone their visit, like in many other cities.

The buses and local trains ,run on time and is the life line of this city. What amazes me, is the discipline in every walk of life. Further, any catastrophe does not disrupt this city ,like any other in India. I have witnessed a terrorist attack and city was back to normal ,the very next day.

The resilience of the people living in this city is worth emulation. Interestingly, people from all over India ,come to this megapolis in quest of their dreams and slowly but surely, imbibe the professionalism of this city.

Another important lesson I learnt from this city , is the simplicity of the citizens. They may be diamond merchants or wealthy businessmen but you cannot make out from their dress or demeanour. We may make out someone is rich ,only when they get into a posh car as otherwise they walk and talk, like all common people.

Mumbai makes you into a Mumbaikar and this is admirable. Every city in India is unique and does offer something to learn. However, there is no city in India, which transforms your life and work ,into a thorough bred professional like Mumbai.

Let us learn to live on happily, irrespective of rain or sun ,from the city of Mumbai.

S Ramesh Shankar

24th Dec 2024

The new year eve ,is always an exciting time of the year, where we have an opportunity, to reflect on the past and create the future of our choice. All of us ,go through a lot of ups and downs ,during the course of the year. This happens in our personal as well as professional life.

The new year is a great opportunity to reflect on the past, learn from it and move on ,to create the future we want, for ourselves. It is like driving a car ,on the highway. While, we need to look ahead at the highway and drive safely, the rear view mirror, helps us to check for any hinderances ,on the sides or any traffic from behind, before we overtake or take a turn.

Life is no different. It is almost like driving your car on the highway. The new year gives us ,an immense opportunity ,to look at the rear view mirror and learn from our successes and failures ,of the past. While successes help us rejoice, the failures give us important lessons in life.

All good things in life ,make us happy and not so good things, make us sad. Life is always a mixture of, good and bad. We need to cherish the happy memories ,of the past year and forget the unpleasant ones. It may also help, if we learn to forgive people ,who hurt us during the last year and pray for their good ,in the new year.

We do realise that neither forgetting the past nor forgiving people who hurt us ,is easy in life. However, the best way ,is to learn lessons from the mistakes we did and resolve not to repeat them ,in the future. Forgiving may not be easy but it may help us to rise ,above the ordinary.

I have never believed in a long list of new year resolutions, at any time. This is because , the longer the list, the more likely we are going to break them. I always believed in making one resolve to myself and trying to live upto it. It could be as simple as a walk every single day in the new year.

I am a born optimist in life. I always believe, that the future will always be brighter than the past. But, just believing in it ,may not be good enough. We need to work ,to create the future ,through systematic planning and diligent execution.

We need to realise ,that we are the masters of our own destiny ,in life and work. We can neither blame our family or friends ,in life nor our colleagues at work ,for not achieving our dreams and aspirations.

It may be useful to remember ,that brooding over the past may not help us ,in creating our future. The lessons from the past ,may help us to prevent similar mistakes ,in life and work.

Today is the time to sit back, reflect and chart your future.

Wish you all ,the best of everything ,in the new year.

S Ramesh Shankar

31st Dec 2024