Author: S Ramesh Shankar

Born in Trichy, Tamil Nadu, India, I have been brought up in different parts of India. Graduate in chemistry and post graduate in personnel management and industrial relations. Have been a HR practitioner for 38 years in the industry and have experience in working in steel , automobiles, FMCG and engineering industry. Was head of HR for Siemens in South Asia based out of Mumbai till March 2019. Currently founded hrishti - joy forever, a social enterprise to give back to society and work as Chief Joy Officer.

Generation Gap

  All of us grow up in age. But, do we necessarily grow up in life. May be not. I am reminded of an incident, which happened in my life almost two decades back. In India, we have a tradition that when we visit our family or friends during a festival, we buy gifts for them. I was visiting my sister in Delhi to be with her family for Diwali. I decided to go and buy clothes for my sister’s family. So, I went out to the nearest market with my brother in law and my nephew to buy clothes for them. I finished all the purchases. The only one left was for my nephew, who was a teenager. We went up and down many shops. If I chose a blue striped shirt, my nephew would reject it and if he chose a red shirt, I would reject. This happened a few times and then I and my brother in law got fed up. So, I told my nephew that my budget for his gift was Rs 500 and he could take it and buy it himself later. He politely agreed but turned around wanted to share some thing with me. I nodded. He said, if you don’t mind uncle, why don’t you accept that there is a generation gap between us ( myself and his father) and him. Our interests need not necessarily match with his interests. If blue striped shirt was our choice, he could prefer a bright red one and there was nothing wrong. This hit me hard like a slap on my face. I realised that I did not recognise the gap in our generations and I was steadfastly imposing my views on them.

  This was a turning point in my life. I was used to choose clothes for my kids too. But from then on, I only allocated a budget, which I could afford and then let them decide for themselves. In my view, this a good lesson to grow up in life. It may happen to us at home and at work.

   If I look at the work life, I can share another interesting incident. This time I was learning to respect the wishes and interests of a generation older than me. I was posted in a factory and my room was facing a beautiful garden. I decided to turn my table and put my chair in a such a way that I could admire the greenery of the garden. My seniors ( CEO & CFO) came to my room and personally lifted the table and chair and put it back in its original direction. When I told them that I was keen in admiring the garden, they told me that as per Vaastu( Indian science for architecture) that was not ok. As far as possible managers and leaders should face the north while sitting in office and hence I cannot change the direction of my table and chair since it would face south. I was not a great believer of Vaastu at that stage of my career, but I respected the belief of my seniors and reluctantly accepted their advice. Today, if Ilook back I realize there is science in Vaastu and hence may be they had reasons for their choices.

   My learning from both the above incidents is that we have to respect the views of all generations and have the humility to accept that their view could be different than yours. It could be from a generation younger than you or older than you. That does not matter. What matters is our ability to respect the views of all generations and our magnanimity to accept and adopt it. Of course, we could agree to disagree also.

   It is time to realise that we could learn from all generations and the earlier we realise it the faster we grow up in life.

  S Ramesh Shankar

“Happy Mother’s Day”

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It has become quite fashionable to celebrate Mothers’ day, Fathers’ day, Friendship day and so on. We could possibly thank the marketeers for their genius to remind us that we need to celebrate and respect our mothers, fathers or friends at least forone day a year.

I am personally not a big fan of such celebrations. Buying a gift or a greeting card and sending it to you mother on one day in a year may not really reflect on your love and affection for her. Then, someone may ask, how else do u celebrate ? I would prefer to look at one great quality my mother had and try to imbibe it ? It may not easy but worth a try.

Let me reflect on some of the outstanding qualities mothers have and which I have observed in my mother, my wife, my daughter , my sisters or my friends who are all mothers in their lives.

The first quality almost all mothers have is “Patience”. I am yet to come across a mother who is not tested by the tantrums of her kids. We all have witnessed it and may be have contributed to it as kids to our mothers. Many mothers miss their sleep, their comforts and their conveniences  to  take care of their children in the best possible way. Remember how a mother does not sleep all night just to take care of her crying baby patiently, but we do not realise how much it would have impacted her health.

The next quality I would admire would be selflessness. Most of the time I have seen my wife, daughter, sister or friends who are mothers willing to sacrifice their interest for the interest of others. It could be their parents, parents-in law, their spouses, their children or friends. It is this nature of selflessness, which makes them noble and admirable.

Another quality in mothers would be their adjusting nature. I have been a witness to many incidents where mothers have been more than accommodative. They tolerate the idiosyncrasies of many of us around them and are willing to let go in the larger interest of the family or kids. They take care of the different needs of all family members whether in food habits, travel, sports   or other matters with a smile.

The list of qualities, which one could imbibe from our mothers could be endless but the choice is ours. We could choose that quality to emulate, which we lack in ourselves. It could be building on a strength or working on a development area. Anyway, one looks at it, a mother is like a ocean of virtues. It is up to us to pick the best quality and follow. In my view, this would be the best way to celebrate “Mothers day” rather than sending a gift or a greeting to her today.

Try it and let me know how do you feel about it ?

S Ramesh Shankar

“Who am I and why am I here ?

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The simpler the question is the tougher it is to answer.  Honestly, I have never questioned myself on “Who am I ? so far.  But, it may be worth a try to answer. If I can answer “Who am I satisfactorily, it may be easier to answer – “Why am i here ?

Who am I ?

A human being who wants to be a ” A better human being, everyday I live, enjoying myself and making life enjoyable for all the people around me in whatever way I can “.  This journey started about 20 years back when I set this as my mission in life.  I have been exploring, experimenting and learning by mistakes and successes in life so far.  It is a journey and my quest to improve is endless.  I would say while starting this journey, I realised that my basics have been good.  A self made man I have earned my way in life through hard work and commitment and with the encouraging support of family and friends.  I have always strived to enjoy life within my means and share my joy with my dear and near.

I should acknowledge that God has been kind to me.  I have struggled in the early part of my career losing my parents at an early age and still trying to stand independently on my feet.  But then the learning journey has been exciting.  My work life and personal life has been well balanced.  I have an enviable family and my spouse and kids have ably supported me in this journey.  I have moved across India and they have adapted well to all the adventures of these career movements.  They have never complained on the consequences of these movements on their lives in terms of education, friends and comforts.

So, life has been great and God has also given me all the material comforts in life.  I have a green home of my dreams, where I intend to settle down and almost all of my material needs fulfilled.  I could confidently say that my needs are fulfilled and if I aspire for more than it would be greed only and may not be contributing to my joy in life.

Now, if I move to answering “Why am I here ? “.  I would say, it is to share my learnings, my experiences, my failures and successes in life.  It has been a exciting journey and I consider it my duty to share with the next generations.  When you go through a crisis or a challenge, you feel as if nobody else has ever gone through it and God is unkind to you.  It is at these moments when you need someone to remind you that there are millions of others on earth, who may have faced tougher challenges than you.

It is this quest to share as “Why am I here ? ”  .  I may not have succeeded all the time but my failures too are good lessons to learn.  This may also help people not to make the same mistakes I did.  I would also say expressing my journey in words is a passion, which I enjoy and sharing will ignite that passion in me more. Lastly, I am a born optimist and I believe that more excitement is ahead of me and hence to share and learn more will keep me going ahead to accomplish my mission in life.

S Ramesh Shankar