One of the things which troubles a lot of people in life is when they don’t get what they want. This may be true in work and personal life. Let us start with our work life. We may have a great idea and we may be jumping in joy as if we have invented a new theory on gravitation – to be the Newton of this century. When we present this idea to our boss or to the leadership team of the organisation, they are not very enthused. So, from a high, we end up in a low. It naturally disappoints us. Why does this happen to us ? If I look back, this happens because we tend to get emotionally attached to the idea. Then we think, there can be no better idea or no other perspective to our idea. When someone looks at our idea and either picks holes in them or throws water on our head we feel disappointed. This is point to reflect upon. Our idea may be genuinely a good one. But we look at the idea through our own lenses. When the same idea is looked through different lenses of multiple people, they see something, which either we don’t see or miss to observe. So, this may be a new perspective, which we may have missed, while thinking of the idea in the first place.

   What do we do when something like this happens to us ? Most of us sulk. We go into a depression and feel that the world is not understanding us. We sometimes may think that the world is not able to catch up at my speed. This may be true sometimes. But, it may also be true that we are missing something, which we do not realise. It may be a good idea to accept things as they are rather as we want them to be. This requires a lot of courage. How can I give up on something, which I think is the best thing to happen in my work life as an idea ? We need not give up. But, we need to realise that no idea is good enough unless we are able to sell it. Selling an idea is our responsibility and not that of the receiver or that of my manager or anyone else in my life. If we are willing to be open to suggestions to our idea, we may be able to build up on the basic idea and then make it more powerful than the original.

   A similar thing happens in our personal lives. A common example is when you want make a life decision. Let us take for example you do not want to marry at a particular age to a particular person. Your parents have the opposite view. When a discussion happens within the family circle, it generally ends up in disagreements and unpleasantness to the say the least. While you present your view, your parents are all out to convince you how the opposite is good for you. The only alternatives in such a situation is that either of you is right or both of you are wrong. But, we tend take a stance and refuse to listen to any alternate view. This leads to a deadlock and many a time in strained relationship between you and your parents. It may be worthwhile to consider the alternate view points before you make a final decision. Let us assume that you are right in deciding not to marry at a particular age to a particular person. It is not good enough for you to say no to your parents but it is worthwhile to listen to their perspective and then convince them through conversations as to why you want to decide what u want to. This means more time, more efforts and and more conversations. But the reality is that the winner in life is always the one, who is able to sell her or his idea and the loser is one who’s sulks to do so.

    So, the choice is with us. We have to decide whether we want to be winner or a loser in life ? And the responsibility to sell my idea is mine and not that of the receiver or any other person in my life.

    Let us try to be a winner from today.

 S Ramesh Shankar

 I always admire people around me, who wear a positive attitude to work and life. You can meet them on the street, in the park, at your work place or even at home amongst your siblings and relatives.

It is easy to spot them as they attract you towards them like the bumble bee. They may not be the wealthiest or occupying the highest position in the organisation but they are the people to be around with. You can spot them by their smile, their unconditional giving or even their helpful attitude. They enjoy whatever they do and they never complain about anything in life. I have met quite a few of them in my life. Today I met one of them and hence this article. Let me share the experiences of meeting a few of them so that you can spot them easily and then try to imbibe their values in your own lives.

The first person I have met is the principal of a school in Delhi. I met her first as the parent of my child studying in her school. She had summoned me to inform me about some misdemeanours of my child. I told her to take the strictest possible action. She retorted that she does not need my permission to take action against her student. However, she had called me in to partner with the school to help the child to develop. Every time I met her there after I found she was amenable, approachable and smiling always. She treated every child and every parent alike irrespective of the background of the child or the parent. I saw kids adore her and almost treated her like a friend.

The second person I have met is in Priyadarshini park Mumbai, where I go for my walk every day. She is a lady, apparently from the economically weaker strata of society by her looks. But she is rich in her character and deeds. She walks into the park every day with bags full of food and feeds all the stray dogs in the park. As soon as she enters, you can see all the dogs follow her like the pied piper of Hamelin. Once we met her and asked her and she was unassuming and said she was just doing a small service. She gives unconditionally without expecting anything in return. All the dogs in the park follow her and love her.

The third person I met is a yoga teacher. I had been to Lonavala to attend a one week yoga camp last year. This teacher was not only conscientious in her duties but caring for each and every student in the class. She did not do her job as a vocation I but as a duty to help a student to transform. Her attitude was positive and her caring nature infectious.

The fourth person I met is an ex colleague who worked with me in a steel plant. He is a living example of unconditional giving. I have always seen him around when anyone faces a crisis. He is there with families in a hospital. He will volunteer to do anything without expecting anything in return. He will travel to be accompany old parents for a friend. He will be the chief organiser in the marriage of a colleague’s daughter. I have often wondered why he does it and have no answer. It is his definition of “Joy” in life. Unconditional giving without expecting anything in return.

The fifth person I met is a nurse in a Ayurvedic hospital in Coimbatore. She endears you with her smile. In spite of nursing being a demanding profession, she treats you with a positive smile and is always willing to adapt and adjust to keep you happy and healthy.

I am sure each one of you would have met many such people in your lives. They attract you like a magnet with their positive behaviour. Their smile is contagious. Their giving attitude is unconditional. They enjoy what they do in life and are content and happy with what they have. So, the learning here, it does not matter whether you are rich or poor, it does not matter if you young or old, it does not matter whether you are senior or junior or female or male. What really matters is your positive attitude to life and living and how you impact others everyday in your life.

May be it is time to reflect and learn one positive quality from these magnetic people.

Let us try from now on…

S Ramesh Shankar